Insights not Spite

Sunday, December 30th During morning meditation, I asked my Spirit Guide Somoya what I needed to know for today.  I then heard an internal voice say, "What would you do with 1,000 dollars?  What would you do with 19,000 dollars?  Write down your passions." Lately when I have been hearing numbers from Somoya, they eventually come to fruition.  Yesterday she shared that I am a magnetic for wealth.  She mentioned the spiritual number 651.  I just need to allow to happen and give some of it to the less fortunate/those in need.  Not to spend recklessly and thoughtlessly, when I acquire wealth. After speaking with my father on Christmas Eve, I had a random conversation about homes and owning property.  He was reminiscing about his old property and home for the family when we all lived in Issaquah during the 70's, 80's, and early 90's.  My father mentioned that one has to own property first outright, before they can build on the property. ...

Saturday, December 29th During morning meditation I asked my Spirit Guide Somoya what I needed to know for today.  I then heard an internal voice say, "Oh man.  651." It sounded like my voice.  I didn't sound excited, if anything, disappointed.  I then looked up the spiritual meaning of the numbers 651 in Google.  It overall stated that the numbers were related to material wealth.  That I am wealthy, and need to share with those less fortunate or in need. Personally, my whole adult life, I have never viewed myself as materialistically wealthy.  I have either worked in customer service or in social services as a profession.  But, If I was to compare myself to many individuals in other parts of our country or the rest of the world, I am rich.  In addition, I have always struggled with giving to others monetarily.  Although, I am very comfortable with giving of my time. I grew up observing my mom and dad giving money away in differe...

Friday, December 28th During morning meditation, I asked my Spirit Guide Somoya what I needed to know for today.  I then heard an internal voice say, "Right now you are learning the leads.  Soon you will take over."  (Simultaneously, I saw a vision of Santa showing me how to drive his sleigh, as we flew through the night sky.)   I feel soon I am going to be in control of myself/my power.  I am going anywhere I want, sharing my gifts with others, and having fun!  Thank you Somoya for these encouraging words and vision.

Thursday, December 27th During morning meditation, I asked my Spirit Guide Somoya what I needed to know for the day.  I then heard an internal voice say, "The graveyard." My mom popped into my mind.  I was curious if she was buried at the same cemetery as her parents. I know that in the past, she mentioned being cremated. I texted my sister Erin and my brother Pat.  My brother Pat confirmed that mom is with her parents at the same burial plot.  My sister remembered she is at Calvary Cemetery near the U Village. I chose not to go to my mom's funeral two years ago for various reasons.  I have dreamt of my mom the last two evenings.  I feel ready to pay her a visit at the cemetery by myself.  I know the experience will be healing. 12/30/18 Update: I went this afternoon, on my own, in search of my mom's plot at Calvary Cemetery.  I had an overall since where it was located, since I had found my grandparent's plots years ago.  When I c...

Tuesday, December 25th During morning meditation, I asked my Spirit Guide Somoya what I needed to know for today.  I then heard an internal voice say, "You will just have to wait." I have been working on feeling comfortable with boundaries with my son Mason, over the past several years, with the assistance and guidance of my wife Kels.  I have been scared of not being loved by him, if I was to set firm and consistent boundaries.  I have been frightened of being on the receiving end of his passive aggressive behavior, if I do lay down the law.  Energetically, I can feel him pressuring me to get up and engage the last few days.  I need self-care and time for myself and with my wife.  I need balance. When it was time for dinner this evening, I asked him to take a seat at the kitchen table.  He initially did, but then proceeded to stand up and head up stairs.  He stated, "I need to charge my phone first."  I went to the restroom to center m...

Monday, December 24th During morning meditation, I asked my Spirit Guide Somoya what I needed to know for today.  I then heard an internal voice say, "When did you receive the feeling?  Being released today or tomorrow?" It is the day before Christmas, and Mason is becoming very excited with anticipation for Santa to arrive with gifts.  Kelli and I have been fighting off colds, so it resulted in both of us sleeping late.  While I was showering, I could feel energetically Mason begging to engage.  I felt a strong tug or war between meeting my needs and his wants.  Such struggles make me feel sad, frustrated, emotional, and at times resentful. When Kelli and I came down to the kitchen, Mason became passive and aggressive only towards me.  Kelli had my back, and asked him to not treat me like that.  Mason apologized and gave me a hug.  I gently shared (timidly) that I deserve to meet my needs first, before engaging with him daily.  I ...

Sunday, December 23rd During morning meditation, I asked my Spirit Guide Somoya, what I needed to know for today.  I then heard an internal voice say, "You are doing well with my prism." I then looked up the definition of prism in Google.   Learners Dictionary.com defined prism as follows:  ...often used figuratively to describe a way of looking at or thinking about something that causes you to see or understand it in a different way.    I feel this is Somoya communicating that I am doing a good job thus far with interpreting her daily messages.  I am being observant, introspective, and thoughtful in how I apply her messages to my daily living and overall transformation of my human spirit.

Friday, December 21st I didn't have time in the morning to meditate, so I meditated before bed.  During meditation, I asked my Spirit Guide Somoya what I needed to know for today.  I then heard an internal voice say, "I don't like to be treated like that." My wife and I just recently were treated with such disrespect by our former tax accountant.  He made a mistake claiming our son for the 2017 tax year.  Both he and his wife lied about getting in touch with us and rectifying the problem immediately.  We were lead to believe that action would be taken in a face to face conversation and via emails, yet nothing materialized.  My wife even made several stops to their office over a two week period.  Neither the husband or wife showed up to their office to offer us the paperwork to amend the tax return. Due to our winter vacation coming up and my ex-wife receiving the IRS notice, Kelli and I were left with hiring a new accountant to rectify the proble...

Saturday, December 22 During morning meditation, I asked my Spirit Guide Somoya, what I needed to know for today.  I then heard an internal voice say, "Heal thy self." First thing when I awoke this morning, even before meditation, I looked up the Catholic Community Services website. I saw opportunities I qualify for.  I am still harboring anger and resentment towards the Catholic Church, due to an incident that happened to me in my twenties.  I now realize I am powerful and I can do anything I want.  But, I need to let go and forgive myself and the church.  I have the power to heal myself emotionally and physically.  I deserve this and I am choosing this path.  I am tired of suffering.  I found a beautiful saying on their website.  I find it healing and will keep me centered and compassionate.

Thursday, December 20th During morning meditation I asked my Spirit Guide Somoya what I needed to know for today.  I then heard an internal voice say, “I think of you often.” During the night, I had a dream about my deceased brother Joel.  We were talking at a family gathering.  It was great to see and hear his voice.  Thanks to Somoya, I feel reassured that he is still with me, even though he is now apart of the spiritual world.  I know I can call upon him and speak to him any time.

Wednesday, December 19th During morning meditation I asked my Spirit Guide Somoya what I needed to know for today.  I then heard an internal voice say, “Do you know Catholic Community Services?” The last few weeks, I have clients struggling a lot with getting into shelters that meet their needs.  Also, I am open to new job opportunities and/or a new agency to work for.  Possibly, Somoya is reaching out to meet both needs.  I am going to check out their website for housing and job opportunities. Update: 12/22/18:  The moment I awoke, I had a strong gut feeling to explore the Catholic Community Services website before meditating.  After an hour of reading the sites various pages, I was unsuccessful in locating a shelter that would meet my client's needs.  CCS shelters only except men ages 50 and older.  I did happen to find a position as a case manager that I would easily qualify for.  In addition, I learned that CCS is not just lo...

Tuesday, December 18th During morning meditation I asked my Spirit Guide Somoya what I needed to know for today.  I then heard an internal voice say, “I lost my job”. I am not sure who this pertains to.  This morning when I started work, I saw someone in upper management that I know.   I said hello, but she said nothing.  She looked beaten down.  Possibly she maybe losing her job soon.

Monday, December 17th During morning meditation, I asked my Spirit Guide Somoya, what I needed to know for today.  I then heard an internal voice say, "Be flexible." I am feeling there maybe pressure to take on another client.  My concern is I am only here this week. I will then be taking 12 days off for Mason's winter break and to enjoy the holidays. Mondays are the mornings that myself and peers gather to discuss client load, who can take on more referrals, who needs assistance, and/or who needs use of the state car.  I was flexible, by staying calm and letting my co-workers know my limitations, due to vacation coming up soon.  Per history, if I feel overwhelmed, I become anxious, get a tone, and behave rigid.  It has always been my defense mechanism to get people to let up on the pressure and back off.  Unfortunately it can scare people and make them want to avoid me.  This does not make for a good team player. I am learning from Somoya that...

Sunday, December 16th During morning meditation, I asked my Spirit Guide Somoya what I needed to know for the day.  I then heard an internal voice say,"You can be an observer." I feel Somoya is saying I can still have fun with some of the activities at Lake Chelan, even if I can't partake in all of them.  My friend Raul had shared that our family could sled, snow shoe, and/or cross country ski, if their is snow.  All of this sounds exciting, but I would enjoy sledding the most with our son!  But, if I am honest with myself, sledding would put me at most risk of further injuring both my frozen shoulders.  This would be a huge set back, with all the recent PT work I have had.  Therefore, I have been feeling sad about missing the potential opportunity to sled with Mason. I need to be OK with just observing Mason and Kelli sledding together.  I need to take in their happiness in the moment and be thankful that we are a family.  I need to be than...

Saturday, December 15th During morning meditation, I asked my Spirit Guide Somoya what I needed to know for the day.  I then suddenly heard an internal voice (the voice of my deceased mother) say, "Marty!" My mom died at age 84, on December 8th, 2016.  I was very close to her as a child, but grew apart as an adult, especially in the last few years of her life.  We didn't communicate for the last several years of her life, based on my decision. I remember receiving a call from my father the night before she died.  My father stated that my mom knew she was dying.  He said to go see her or call her ASAP.  I called her group home the next day from work.  I asked to speak with my mom.  When she answered, she stated, "I am dying.  I am dying."  I said, "I know mom.  It is OK to let go.  I love you very much.  Thank you for being my mom all these years.  I am sorry for not speaking with you the last few years.  I ...

Friday, December 14th During morning meditation, I asked my Spirit Guide Somoya what I needed to know for today.  I then heard an internal voice say, "See Mason.  This is one big giant gift!" This past week, Mason has made a couple remarks about whether or not Kelli and I are buying him Christmas presents.  Kelli and I have had conversations with him separately and as a family regarding this topic.  Kelli and I feel Mason is receiving enough, just by getting the opportunity to go to Lake Chelan and Leavenworth.  We have explained that we are spending $500.00 to create a special experience, and this is a wonderful present in it's self.  He doesn't have to have more. Mason needs to learn to be grateful and aware of what it costs to make a vacation manifest.  He has been struggling with accepting that trips are a form of a gift.  Like most children, he just wants lots of wrapped presents.  We get and accept that our capitalistic society ha...

Thursday, December 13th During morning meditation, I asked my Spirit Guide Somoya what I needed to know for today.  I then heard an internal voice say, "Everybody likes doing things their own way." I feel Somoya is reminding me not to force, just be implosive when teaching skills and offering support around mental health and addiction recovery.  In addition, not to take it personally, if people don't want to manage stress the way I do it and/or want my support.  Earlier in the week, I had a clt kindly state that he isn't open to my cognitive method for managing stress or daily structure, but is open to a different method.  Unfortunately, in the moment, I took it personally and felt hurt.  I made it about me, and not about his recovery. In my profession, my personal daily goal is to empower individuals and make them independent.  I need to remain positive and happy for individuals.  It shouldn't matter what method/s they choose to assist themselve...

Wednesday, December 12th During morning meditation, I asked my Spirit Guide Somoya what I needed to know for today.  I then heard an internal voice say, "I am going to spin class."   The past couple of weekends I have been really wanting to go, but other plans and obligations came up.  I chose them over self-care.  I plan to workout at the gym at least twice over my three day weekend.   I am grateful that Somoya is keeping my needs in the forefront of my mind.  I tend to sacrifice and make everyone else's needs and wants come first.  This can lead to resentment at times, if I am not doing any self-care.   I really love the spin classes, because they feed one of my passions-exercise via the bike.  I use to be a competitive cyclist when I was in high school.  This activity helped manage my day to day academic stress.  In addition, it gave me an escape from my family drama, which helped keep me sane.      ...

Tuesday, December 11th During morning meditation, I asked my Spirit Guide Somoya what I needed to know for today.  I then heard an internal voice say,"Wouldn't it be fun to go to Leavenworth?!" This Christmas we have our son Mason.   We as a family have been blessed.  We have the opportunity to be together and stay at a family's home on lake Chelan during Christmas week.  My wife Kelli was a nannie for this family for two of their three boys for many years.  Therefore, she has been adopted as a member of their clan. A couple weeks ago, Kelli mentioned about going to Leavenworth to see the lights as a part of our holiday vacation.  I didn't respond with a lot of excitement, due to the fact that I didn't know how we would fit it all in, and cost wise.  When I heard Somoya bring this idea up again, it made me more open and willing to consider this opportunity.  Per history, I don't do well with others suddenly changing plans that involve me. ...

Monday, December 10th During morning mediation, I asked my Spirit Guide Somoya what I needed to know for today.  I then heard an internal voice say, "First and second class rivalry." My wife Kelli is a teacher assistant for second grade.  Last Saturday, Kelli and I went to the private grade school fundraiser.  Over two dozen expensive trips and meals were being auctioned off.  Both of us were hesitant to go for two reasons:  First, we knew the family's were mostly wealthy, and we are not.  Second, the expectation was to dress very fancy for the event.  As a result, Kelli and I were assigned to a table of teachers and their significant others.  There were other "second class tables" around us.  We were all located in the back of the large convention.  The "first class tables" were assigned to the parents, which were located in the front of the convention.  The logistics of the tables, and who was assigned to the tables, was by no...

Sunday, December 9th During morning meditation, I asked my Spirit Guide Somoya what I needed to know for today.  I then heard an internal voice say, “Freedom...leads to independence.” Last night our son Mason has a sleep over at a friends house.  Kelli and I went to an all evening fundraiser for the private grade school she teaches at. It is difficult, but I recognize I need to let go more of Mason on the weekends.  As it is, I only get to see and be with our son every other week.  Mason is from my previous marriage.  I need to allow him more over nighters, so he has fun and freedom.  As a result, it will lead to Mason having a healthy future of independence.  This is the time/age to be practicing.  Mason is pre-teen.

Saturday, December 8th During morning meditation, I asked my Spirit Guide what I needed to know for today.  I then heard an internal voice say, “We have enough money.” I was immediately put at ease, after receiving this message from Somoya.  I had been feeling pretty anxious with all my recent expenses:  PT visits out of pocket, root canal, crown, new glasses, and paying back the IRS, due to our tax accountant making a mistake last year.  Plus, I have more doctor visits coming up in January. I am very grateful my father taught me the value and discipline to save money, no matter what the income.  In addition, my wife Kelli said something brilliant.  She said, “Your emergency savings is like the stock market.  It will go up and down over time, based on your needs.  Avoid attaching your feelings to how much or how little you have.  Just keep putting away as much as you can each pay check, after you pay your bills.”  She is so right. ...

Thursday, December 6th During morning meditation, I asked my Spirit Guide Somoya what I needed to know for the day.  I then heard an internal voice say, "(Name of clt at work), I didn't know you are a high utilizer."  There is someone on my unit that comes to my groups, but I don't know his history, cause I do not work with him directly.  It is interesting that Somoya shared this information about this clt.  A high utilizer is someone that frequents emergency rooms often throughout the year.  Possibly, I may be assisting this individual directly in the near future.

Wednesday, December 5th During morning meditation, I asked my Spirit Guide Somoya what I needed to know for the day.  I then internally heard a voice say, "I got an opportunity today!"  I told myself I will be hypervigilant about my day to day moments.  I will wait and see what happens with anticipation throughout the day! Update: My opportunity is a surprise, but did not excite me at first.  It involves going to the dentist and spending several hundred out of pocket between now and January, 2019.  Due to tooth pain off and on since July, I finally bit the bullet, and called the dentist to see if I could get my root canal started.  I lucked out!  I didn't realize I had left over dental insurance (over $600.00) to cover most of the root canal procedure.  Plus, I was very fortunate to be able to get an appointment on my day off in December.  My dental insurance does not roll over each year, it is "lose it or use it", as they say. ...

Tuesday, December 4th During morning meditation, I heard from my Spirit Guide Somoya, but I was too sleepy to retain her message.  I decided I would try to meditate before work, at lunch, or after work.  My day was extremely busy.  I was left with trying something new.  I decided I would try to meditate, visualize, and speak with my Spirit Guide, as I walked home from the transit center.  I have never attempted this before.  Unbelievably, the technique work!  I was so shocked, I almost didn't accept the message Somoya sent.  I internally heard her say, "Ask for what you want for."  Minutes later, I arrived home and opened my mailbox.  Amongst the junk mail, was a piece of mail from my dad.  I decided to put Somoya's message to the test.  I said, "I hope my dad sent some money to help with Christmas presents!"  Next, I opened the piece of mail.  Inside was a Christmas card and a check for 500.00!!  My dad stated...

Monday, December 3rd During morning meditation, I asked my Spirit Guide Somoya what I needed to know for today.  I then heard an internal voice say,"What affects my GI?"   Last Friday, my PT stated I should speak to my Primary Care Physician about my GI problems.  He didn't state what could be causing it, but that it was important to mention to my PCP.  I then became curious about its causes.  I don't want to be put on any medications, if I can help it. This morning as I was waiting for my bus for work I received an insight about the GI and made a note on my phone.   I was wondering why I didn't have any issues this morning.   I wrote the following: I realize how powerful the subconscious can be.   Last several weeks I have been less organized with my work and personal life.  My papers have been piling up, causing disorganization and therefore more anxiety.  I also noticed I hold my breath when I am thinking, typing, ...

Sunday, December 2nd During morning meditation, I asked my Spirit Guide Somoya what I needed to know for today.  I then heard an internal voice say,"Don't you care about these glasses?"  I had a visual of knocking my glasses off my nightstand and onto the floor.   My new glasses haven't fit well on my face the moment I bought them from Costco.  They slip down my nose and have even fallen off my face once.  They slip too easily, if I tilt my head too far forward.   When I bought the glasses at Costco, the saleslady made the excuse that the temple design is why she can't make adjustments.  I need to advocate for myself, and push Costco on making sure my frames fit me properly and comfortably.  (The irony is I have no problem advocating for others in my profession.)  I need to go back to Costco by myself, so I don't feel pressured for time.  I need to make sure not to leave Costco till the glasses fit right, or I need to pick ou...

Saturday, December 1st During morning meditation, I asked my Spirit Guide Somoya what I needed to know for today.  I then heard an internal voice say,"25 years younger...The problem is you have everything." This statement rings so true for myself.  In my twenties, I was surrounded by loved ones and the majority of my needs were met.  I am also the youngest of seven children.  One can deduce I was very spoiled.  My only worries were what school to attend, what type of career I wanted to pursue, and who I wanted to date.  As the years have past by, my struggles have derived from living with ADD, general anxiety disorder, PTSD, and bi-polar.   Now I am almost 47 years old and have learned many coping skills to manage my challenges.  I feel like I am starting over all over again, when it comes to learning independence, building confidence, and pursuing my future dreams.  As they say...better late than never.

Friday, November 30th During morning meditation, I asked my Spirit Guide Somoya what I needed to know for the day.  I then heard an internal voice say,"I got $430.00 bucks." This is the second day I have received a message about money.  Later in the morning I met with my physical therapist for the first time.  He is trying to give me relief from my frozen shoulders that I have had since this past May.  He mentioned at the end of the session that it would be good for me to consult a nutritionist, and that it would run me $400.00 or so.  I was taken aback by his statement, due to Somoya's message earlier this morning. Update : Today my wife emailed and stated she received 455.00 today!!  355.00 from school and 100.00 gift certificate from her close friend Nina to a coffee shop.  Thank you, Somoya for the heads up and making this manifest!!  My wife just the other day said she had a feeling money was coming our way.  This is a relief, ca...

Thursday, November 29th During morning meditation, I asked my Spiritual Guide Somoya what I needed to know for the day.  I then heard an internal voice say,"$928.00 each."  I have no idea what this is referring to.  I am going to remain aware of this message for awhile.

Wednesday, November 28th During morning meditation, I asked my Spirit Guide Somoya what I needed to know for the day.  I then heard an internal voice say,"Wise and invention."  The voice sounded like my voice and that it was referring to myself.  In November of 2009, I developed an invention outside the workplace. It is still being utilized to this day in my workplace and out in the community.  I have shared it with some people around the country and with one mental health agency in the UK. 12/4/18:  Update: Today I received an email from a director stating " You are wise."  She was referring to the fact that I thoughtfully took the time to consider the commitment it would take to partake in a one year medical assistant apprenticeship.  I stated in an email that it would be too much at this time, due to raising a family.  She stated the opportunity may arise again in the future, when it better meets my needs. As far as "invention" , I am ...

Tuesday, November 26th During morning meditation, I asked my Spirit Guide Somoya what I needed to know for the day.  I then heard an internal voice say,"Lucky numbers...number 7 and number 11." I Googled these numbers.  They stated these were both lucky numbers for gamblers and for those who are spiritual.  The website Trusted Psychic Mediums stated the numbers represent spiritual awakening, inner wisdom, and good fortune, inspiration, motivation, and happiness. During the day, I chose to be hyperaware of all of the above possibilities, due to hearing the numbers. It ended up being an amazing day! My Fortunes for today: 1) My friend Eric stated he is open to future publishing, if possible 2) Saw Kristi.  Stated I would get my resume this week 3) My friend Rhonda offered to look over resume.  It is her skill-set 4) My supervisor showed that she had my back and forwarded me a potential job, but it isn't something I am interested in-medical assistant ...

Monday, November 26th During morning meditation, I asked my Spirit Guide Somoya what I needed to know for the day.  I then heard an internal voice say,"I know you're frustrated with me around the business." I have been trying for several years to grow my consulting business, while working my primary job.  My consulting business has been practically non-existent, due to too much fear and overthinking on my part.  My wife has had to put in countless hours listening to me talk business, yet has seen me take very little action.  She believes in me and my product, but recognizes I struggle daily believing in my own abilities and being comfortable at taking risks. Some recent good news, I have finally decided to take a risk.  I am partnering up with a friend, in hopes to make the consulting business grow in 2019.   We have been taking time weekly to meet.  We are planning out our future presentations and trainings for agencies, hospitals, and the gener...

Sunday, November 25th During morning meditation, I asked my Spirit Guide Somoya what I needed to know for the day.  I then heard and internal voice say,"Gluco Man."  I felt a little concerned.  Earlier this month, at my last visit with the eye doctor, he asked if I was pre-diabetic. I stated that my primary care doctor didn't bring up the concern, since he runs blood work annually.  The ophthalmologist stated he saw some scaring in the back of my eyes.  I am going to be 47 this coming February.  Therefore, the doctor stated he wants to see me yearly for an exam. I then Googled WebMD and glucose out of curiosity.  I didn't know anything about glucose or how it works.  The past three years, I switched over to a plant based diet, in hopes of lengthening the life of my kidneys.  Unfortunately, I always crave and mostly consume fruit and potatoes, which I just learned are high in glucose.  The the high glucose can overall damage organs, s...

Saturday, November 24th During morning meditation, I asked my Spirit Guide Somoya what I needed to know for the day.  I then heard a voice internally say, "Dan."  My dad has been on my mind a great deal lately.  We haven't hung out with him as a family since last February for my birthday.  He had stated over the phone during the summer that he wanted to see our son possibly in August or September.  Life has felt like a whirl wind with our son now in middle school, my wife starting and adjusting to her new job as a teacher assistant, and both of us joining the 24 Hour Fitness to improve our heath and wellness.  Therefore, time has gotten away for us a family.  In addition, unfortunately, engaging with grandpa feels like an obligation, rather than an enjoyable event for the family, which naturally leads to avoidance.   Since I heard Somoya say, "Dan", I figured I needed to listen and take action.  I know he wants to see his grandson...