Insights not Spite

Last night, while watching a TV show called "Intervention", instead of being entertained by watching the tragic life struggles of people with drug addictions, I instead became enlightened by the fact that I have learned co-dependency from my parents.  In turn, over the years I have entered into several relationships being co-dependent or with another co-dependent individual.  I, like all people, don't like or want to be labeled with a diagnosis that carries negative connotations.  Therefore, up until this point, I have not been open to learning what co-dependency is or even looks like.  I was even resistant up until last night, after watching the show, to even Google the WebMD definition of co-dependency.  When I gathered the courage to finally read and understand what this term meant, I was very relieved and at peace, in spite of the fact that I completely identified with something undesirable. In away, "I have come out of the closet", regarding this part of my

It is a three day weekend, due to President's Day.  My wife and I are house sitting for some close friends, while they are away on vacation with their family for winter break. I am very grateful to have several days off to be quiet, sit, and process my thoughts.  Yesterday we meditated in the afternoon.  I didn't hear anything, but received the thought about the value of balance in one's life. My previous week submerged me in a sea of of emotions, due to tremendous stress at work, family, and tragedy in the state of Florida.  The details of the stress and tragedy are not necessary to delve into.  More importantly, it is how I delt...or better yet,  how I didn't deal with all the news and stress. When hit with multiple stressors this past week, instead of using a method that I developed to manage such situations, I chose to revert back to my old habits, which don't serve me well.  These habits were learned when growing up in my family.  They are the following: 

In the middle of the night, I was slowly awakened by a full bladder.  While laying half awake and fighting to stay in our warm cozy bed, I heard, "Your day to day is messed up." I have been thinking a lot about the in service I will be giving on March 21st to attending psych physicians re: using OPA Provider Forms.   My wife Kelli has advised me in the past to always know your audience, when ever giving a presentation or putting on a Training for OPA For Mental Health.  Therefore, I have been pondering what to share with the attending doctors in March.  Previously, my audience has been other Peer Specialists who also live with mental illness, patients, students of various hospital professions, and mixed audiences at Washington State Conferences and King County Conferences. After hearing this insight last night, I now know how to better address the attending doctors on inpatient psych.  I plan to open with who I am and what I live with.  How and why I developed the cogni

It wasn't until 11 years ago, when I was 34, that I once again became open to reconnecting to the "infinite thread of communication."  Prior to this, I spent the rest of my childhood and adulthood living with angst, whether it be in school or as an employee.  In short, in first grade I was diagnosed with learning challenges involving ADD and a visual motor deficit that effects my reading comprehension, math, and writing abilities.  Out of a need to please my father and fear of disappointing him, I pushed myself to the extreme to get excellent grades throughout my academic career, until I reached college.  I could no longer sustain my scholastic struggle and deal with the pressure that I brought upon myself, due to trying to fulfill another persons dream and desire to become an engineer.  I therefore dropped out of the University of Washington.  I slipped into a major depression.  I immediately reached out for help.  I was put on an antidepressant.  Not knowing family hi