Insights not Spite

During morning meditation I heard, "Sex. Phone and literature."  Last Friday, I came down with a sore throat and muscle aches in the afternoon.  I then had myself tested for COVID on Saturday.  Fortunately, I tested negative.  I continued to feel under the weather for the rest of the weekend.  Therefore, my wife and I didn't get to be close to one another.  Today, I finally felt myself.  I initiated that we share in a hot bath when I got home from work.  I offered my love massage and we had the opportunity to be close.  I always love every moment that I get to be close, give and receive back from her.  It is so much fun and nature with my love.   At work, during my lunch break, I read an article about the Packer's loss to the Buccaneers.  That was my "phone and literature" for the day.

During morning meditation, I asked my Spirit Guide Jenja an astronomical question: Will the Packers beat the Buccaneers today?  I immediately heard, "Yes."  But then I heard, "No. Yes. No."  That was disconcerting.   Unfortunately, the Packers lost today.  They had several opportunities for multiple touchdowns, but they just couldn't focus and connect.  The defense and the offense were cold in the first half.  Only the defense was on fire in the second half.  The offense never came alive.  Just goes to show you it truly takes the whole team to be fighting on all cylinders to achieve a convincing win.  Not fair to depend on a few players to carry the whole team to the Super Bowl.  Hopefully next season all the players will be healthy and insync. I am grateful they made it to the Championship playoffs!  GO PACK GO!!

During morning meditation, while visualizing arriving at the gazebo to meet with my Spirit Guides, I heard, "I am working for others today."  After hearing this message, I wasn't quite sure what this meant.  I started my day with breakfast, shower and shave.  I then made my OPA action list for how I wanted to move through the day.  My top priority was to address my annual business taxes via the Dept. of Revenue.  When I went online, I discovered my LLC business had been dissolved.  I was a bit stunned at first, but not completely surprised.  I hadn't made any income in the last few years.  This was the reason my business is no longer active.  The good news, I owe nothing!  This was a synchronistic moment.  Just on Friday, I was sharing with my son and Kels that I now envision a virtual OPA For Mental Health training center.  This would be a non-profit.  All those I would train would be volunteers who are open and passionate about using and teaching OPA to others.  I w

During deep meditation, I heard, "Workplace violence."  This statement startled me.  I hope my workplace on the unit is safe this coming week.  There are time when the people we serve become violent due to their acute mental health symptoms.  Other times, it is people with personality issues that cause workplace violence.  Both physical and verbal abuse is hurtful, no matter how seasoned you are as professional staff. We are human and have feelings.   In those moments when others are being violent, I do my best to pause and remind myself to having mercy, be kind and peaceful. 

During morning meditation, I asked my Spirt Guide Somoya what I needed to know for today.  I then heard, "I can do anything I want to do."  After hearing Somoya's message, I had to pause.  Yesterday, my wife Kels had stated that we are the only ones getting in the way of ourselves.  This statement is so true!  My low self-esteem due to learning challenges since childhood had generated a lot of negative thinking on my part over the years.  I am finally breaking through!  I am OK with no letters after my name.  I finally feel secure.  I know who I am and I am proud of my successes, even if it didn't materialize in financial wealth.  I have been so caught up on success only being defined as making a lot of money and having a lot of nice things.  Like most people, our past and environment can heavily color our perspective on what success is in life.  I am really thrilled to have all my needs met.  Such a blessing.  I am so grateful each day.  I often get my wants met too.

During morning meditation, I asked my spirit guide Somoya what I needed to know for the day.  I then heard, "Celebrate!  A huge basket!"   From my life experience, I have seen people sometimes receive a basket with lots of great little gifts inside!  I love this concept of giving and receiving a bunch of little gifts that you like.  I have always secretly wanted to receive a basket of gifts.  I see it as fun and exciting like a Christmas stocking.   Today, metaphorically, I received a huge basket of gifts!  I made the point to be cognizant and celebrate with my son and wife throughout the day all my gifts from the Universe.  The day started off with me receiving $45.00 to offer Reiki long distance to an ongoing customer.  This dog named Perrita is so sweet and well deserving.  The owner is planning to continue to pay for ongoing sessions, which is another gift in itself.  I am so grateful to be paid to do work that I love to do.  I love offering Reiki, while engaging with my

 During morning meditation, while giving gifts of water and fresh berries to my Spirit Guides Somoya and Jenja, I heard, "Have a shred..."  I looked up the word in Google.  It can mean to have a strip of food.  I was not aware the word could be used this way.  I have always known the word to be used when referring to paper.  I like learning and using old English words.  Sounds like how someone would speak during the Middle Ages.  

 During morning meditation, I asked Somoya what I needed to know for today.  I then heard, "There are no cus words."  Today is the inauguration of President Biden and Vice President Harris.  My hope is we are moving towards a kinder and more peaceful state of mind in our country as a whole.  My take away is people in general become angry and cus, due to feeling scared and fearful.  Our last president generated nothing but fear and hate, which lead to cus words and violence as a nation.  

 At the start of my morning meditation, I heard, "Keeps me on track." I strongly feels this refers to my development of OPA For Mental Health to create and manage daily structure and to create, manage and achieve goals.  I have been practicing this method daily since November 2009.  I no longer feel disorganized, anxious and overwhelmed on a day to day basis.

 At the beginning of my morning meditation, I heard, "You're constantly happy!"  That was a wonderful and reassuring message to hear.  I believe my new daily mantra:  Having grace, kindness and peace for myself and others is fundamentally transforming me as a person.  In addition, meditating daily and blogging first thing in the morning about the messages is adding to my daily happiness!  

 During my morning meditation, I asked my Spirit Guide Somoya what I needed to know for today.  I then heard, "Well done, you little scum."   My son Mason and I went for a walk yesterday in the winter cold.  I brought my Nikon camera in hopes of taking some great common place photography shots.  I took a couple cool pictures of some heron nests.  Then suddenly, Mason requested to take some pictures.  I was a little taken aback, cause he tends not to be very good at using his voice to state his wants.  I was happy to oblige.  Mason then took hundreds of pictures of nature and animals.  He stated several times he was having so much fun in the moment!  Mason took some really good pictures.  I had mixed feelings during these moments.  I was very happy to share another fun activity together, but also felt threatened by his ability to also take great pictures.  He is a natural.  I did guide his compositions at first, but he picked up the skill quickly on his own.  Also, he had no f

 At the start of my morning meditation, I heard, "Joel is my mentor, not Ian (Young)."  When I was a kid, I had an older neighborhood friend that was nice and mean to me at times, similar to my brother Joel.  There was even a time when Ian took the time to try and assist me with my reading skills.  To this day, I am not quite sure why he was so invested in my well-being.  Overall, my middle brother Joel became my mentor as I grew older, especially in my late teens and twenties.  He taught me how to become less self-absorbed, less selfish, more independent and kinder towards others.  Joel was fun, but at the same time all about treating others with respect and holding one's self accountable for their actions.   He had a good balance of being hilarious and enjoying life while also taking it seriously.  

This morning during the beginning of my meditation I heard, "I have solutions, if you are looking for them."  This brought me much comfort.  I totally agree.  My Spirit Guides Somoya and Jenja often offer me solutions to my problems.  I just need to be humble enough to ask for support/guidance.  Often times I can be so stubborn.  I try to deal with all my problems in my head and come up with solutions on my own.  Many times my outcomes are not effective, due to my solutions being tied into personal hurt feelings and ego.  I need to trust and let go more.  I need to let the Spirit Guides do their jobs.  Life is hard enough just being in it, why make life harder for myself?  I am open to all the support the Spirit Guides can offer!  I feel incredibly blessed to have the ability to communicate with my Spirit Guides. 

During morning meditation, I asked my Spirit Guide Somoya what I needed to know for today.  I heard, "What brings you here today?  Are you willing to do the work?"   Yesterday I had my first Zoom OPA support group for the community.  It was a shit show, to say the least! People were either inappropriate for group or being disrespectful.  Moving forward, I will now ask these two questions for Zoom support groups and for my five support groups on inpatient.  This will be a wonderful way to weed out the people who shouldn't be attending and hold them accountable in front of their fellow peers.  In addition, I created new guidelines for my OPA support groups last week.  These will be read at the beginning of each group.  Also, if someone is asking what is the group about, I will simply reply, "What skills are you looking to obtain in your recovery process?"  All of these questions that I ask, along with guidelines, should hopefully minimize future disruption and ind

 At the start of my morning meditation, I heard, "Bat shit crazy."

At the beginning of morning meditation, I heard, "Perceptions of what you hear and see are different."  Had the worst nightmare of my life, that I can recall.  The nightmare felt so real, I thought it was my real life experience.  I was so grateful to wake up to realize it was not my living reality.  I dreamt that I was seeing and hearing things that my wife couldn't see.  I was hallucinating and frightened by the experience. I was seeing hay on my old bed in my parent's house and our son Mason playing with it.  Next I saw pictures of things that I enjoyed as a kid on my old bedroom wall and could feel them, but my wife Kels was not able to see or feel them.  I was so upset and frightened.  My next thought was how am I going to be able to move throughout life without having her or others confirm what is real and what is not.  I felt so scared and helpless in my dream.  Then I awoke.  I kissed my hand to make sure I was really awake.  My take away, is now that this nig

 At the beginning of my morning meditation, I heard, "Partial agreement".  Yesterday and today we did interviews for our team at work.  After today, we are in partial agreement on who to hire.  

 At the start of my morning meditation, I heard, "This isn't the bet that it is going to get."

After waking, I wrote down my daily intention: I am full of grace, kindness and peace towards myself and others today.  I am calm and centered using breath and OPA.  I am having a fun, safe and warm ride to work and home.  I am getting all caught up with my work today.  I am running a successful and productive OPA group today.  I am having fun with Kels this evening!  I am having a long day and feeling filled up.  Money comes effortlessly today!  I am open to doing or receiving Reiki today.   Result: 80% Today started off rough!  A friend/co-worker carelessly sent out an email venting her feelings about upper management while including my name.  She had accidentally cc'd my supervisor, a case manager and a nurse.  I was hurt, mad and embarrassed to say the least.  I am very proud in how I handled the situation.  My old self would of immediately reacted and lashed out at the person who sent the email.  I took a deep breath.  I immediately took action by calling my supervisor and the

 During the beginning of my meditation, I heard, "Good to see your addressing your feelings in the right environment."  I thought at first this might pertain to my wife.  She recently experienced some major trauma.  She is having an opportunity to meet with a good friend this Tuesday.  Her friend, my co-worker, has her MSW.  I figured she would have the skills to be very supportive when Kels discloses her sad and hurt feelings.  This may be the case, but today this message was addressing my Monday morning at work.   When going through emails, I saw that the same co-worker I mentioned above thoughtlessly sent out an email that made feel hurt and upset.  It was not her intention, but she was careless in how she sent to email.  She accidentally included  my supervisor, a case manager and a nurse.  My colleague vented about upper management and mentioned my name.  She has hurt feelings about our new director, but my hurt feelings pertained to the previous director that retired re

 After waking, I wrote my daily intention: I am full of grace, kindness and peace towards myself and others today.  I am cal and centered using breath and OPA.  I am having fun with Kels!  I am getting things done that need to get done.  I am having a long day.  I feel filled up! Money comes effortlessly!  I am open to Reiki, either receiving or giving. Result: 90% No money came to me today, but everything else manifested!  I gave myself Reiki this morning after waking.  This knocked me out for another hour.  I was in a good mood for the day.  I had a nice conversation over the phone with a good long time friend.  Her name is Jillian.  I had a deep and philosophical talk with my wife Kels.  We both found it enjoyable.  I really love these kinds of talks that make you think and appreciate life itself and one another.  I was able to get some long overdue things done-addressing the copyright and verbiage update on my OPA For Mental Health, LLC manual.  I was also able to respond to some e

During morning meditation, I asked my Spirit Guide Somoya what I needed to know for today.  I then heard, "A beggar took it off my fingers.  Coward."  My wife stated she was going for a walk on the Burke Gilman this morning with her best friend Nina.  In case the message was meant to be literal, I shared the message/warning with Kels.  She immediately took of her wedding ring and other precious stone off of her fingers.   If this message was a figure of speech, my take away is I am feeling anxious about sharing my OPA manual with the community.  That is my precious gem.  Recently, I have had interest from other peers wanting to receive the manual.  Per history, I have had some very negative outcomes from sharing my material within my workplace, which deeply hurt my feelings and ruined relationships.  I have grown since these incidences.   My wife has taught me better to share and have others copy, then just keep knowledge and wisdom to myself.  She states it is a real complim

After waking up, I wrote down my daily intention:   I am full of grace, kindness and peace towards myself and others today.  I am calm and centered using breath and OPA.  I am having fun today with Kels!  I am having a relaxing and long day.  I feel filled up.  I am open to Reiki.  Money comes effortlessly.  All my needs are being met. Result:  100% Everything manifested!  The day was nice and very productive.  Kels and I had fun together and the evening was relaxing and long.  Kels was kind enough to buy us some treats today, which was unexpected.  I was mindful to be very kind to the DOL customer services lady.  I could tell she appreciated it, because it appeared the person before me was not as kind.  I was mindful of my emotions when driving and was in no rush to get anywhere.  I left myself plenty of time to get from place to place.  I did a good job of taking care of my needs.  This resulted in me feeling filled up.  

During morning meditation, I asked my Spirit Guide Somoya what I needed to know for today.  I immediately heard, "Feeling emotionally."  The night before I slept terribly.  I had had the first dose of the  COVID-19 vaccine.  After receiving the shot I had a very sore arm and felt light headed.  Then it turned into a headache.  Later I felt very fatigued.  That night I had really bad muscle aches, like the flu.  I was up several times throughout the night feeling uncomfortable.  Fortunately, I felt a lot better the next day.   Based on my history of having a poor nights sleep and it greatly affecting my mood, I knew Somoya was correct.  I seriously needed to be mindful of my emotions throughout the day.  This morning, I was easily reactive when trying to figure out how to pay our car tabs either online or in person.  Whenever dealing with paying the State of Washington, the task is convoluted and challenging, to say the least.  Fortunately, I was internally able to put myself

During the beginning of my morning meditation, I heard, "West of the Mississippi".  My only take away is that I best connect with people and enjoy the environment (open flat lands, mountains and lakes) west of the Mississippi.  I am definitely NOT a city boy.  The pace and crowds of the city/urban causes me anxiety.  I prefer the slow pace of country life, but being surrounded by educated and liberal thinkers.  It has definitely been difficult to find this balance thus far, but my wife and I are not giving up hope! 

 After waking, I wrote down my daily intention: I am full of grace, kindness and peace for myself and others.  I am calm and centered using breathing and OPA.  I am having fun with Mason!  I am having a good Reiki session with Perrita.  I am having a good OPA session with Laura.  I am getting a lot of things done today!  I am having fun with Kels!  My day feels long.  I feel filled up!  I am happy and relaxed!  Money comes effortlessly!  I am open to Reiki.   Result: 100%   Everything I wrote down came to fruition!  In addition, through Laura, I was able to network with other Peer Specialists via zoom.  I was asked to present on OPA For Mental Health again for Community Live.  This nonprofit was started up by Annette Jones and her husband.  She manages the zoom and encourages people to run zoom meetings and share information to support the community.  I asked Laura to be my co-facilitator next Friday when we present on OPA.  We will then ask the participants about their interest.  If t

During morning meditation, I asked my Spirit Guide Somoya what I needed to know for today.  I then heard, "There maybe some of that in your debt locker."  At first I was confused about what this meant.  I then came to the conclusion that my "debt locker" most likely refers to my "savings" account.  I pretty much have learn to view my savings as emergency money to cover unexpected debts that come up in life.  Not a fun way to spend money.  Or saving money to purchase a traditional home.  In my opinion, also not a fun way to save and leads to more debt.  I learned this way of thinking about saving from my father.   I never really learned to think of savings as also be utilized for fun activities and/or purchases. So, I am going to try and change my perspective and be open to doing some fun things once in awhile.  They don't have to be large purchases, just FUN purchases and/or activities for either myself, Kels, Mason or the family as a whole.  Kels and

After waking up, I wrote down my daily intention: I am full of grace, kindness and peace today.  I am calm and centered sing breath and OPA.  I am running fun and effective OPA groups today.  I am getting some exits done today.  I am surrounded by supportive people.  I am having a warm, safe and fun ride to work and home.  I am having fun with Mason and Kels this evening!  Money comes effortlessly today!  I am open to offering Reiki today.  Result: 70% I had to work really hard at having grace, showing kindness and being peaceful.  I was either seeing or having negative people show up in my space.  I either had to walk away or they had to.  I had to keep saying in my head to have grace, be kind and peaceful and really feel it.  This did help squelch my negative thoughts about others.  If I didn't intentionally say these words internally,  negative thoughts would quickly bloom and fill my cranium all day long and into the evening.   I am finding that by being intentional and mindful

 During morning meditation, I asked my Spirit Guide Somoya what I needed to know for today.  I then heard, "Account party!"  I am hoping that Somoya is forecasting that Kels and I will each be having our $600.00 stimulus check deposited in checking within a day or so!  Some of our friends have already received theirs.  

 After waking, I wrote down my daily intention for the day: I am full of grace, kindness and peace all day.  I am calm and centered using breath and OPA.  I am surrounding myself with supportive people.  I am having a safe, warm and fun ride to work and home.  I am having fun with Mason and Kels this evening!  Money comes effortlessly!  I am open to doing Reiki.  I am having a great day! Result:  100%. Everything came to fruition!  I found two pennies on my ride and picked them up for good luck.  I had one meeting and half day training, so it was easy money!  I was centered and calm and surrounded myself with supportive people.  My rides were both warm, safe and fun.  I had fun with both Mason and Kels in different ways.  My back and left knee are both sore.  I am open to doing Reiki as I fall asleep.  I showed grace, kindness and peace towards co-workers and the EPIC trainer who was struggling.  

 During morning meditation, while suiting up, I heard, "Feel the face at night time."  I know this refers to my wife.  She LOVES TO SLEEP! Ever since I got back into nightly blogging, she has been going to bed before me.  The minute her head hits the pillow, she is out like a light!  I then have to "feel her fact at night time" to kiss her goodnight.  

 At the start of morning meditation, I heard, "Palm Springs".  This made me smile.  Kels and I vacationed their for the first time when we were dating.  We went to Palm Springs during the winter.  In spite of be getting food poisoning in the airport and being sick for a couple days, we both had an AMAZING time!  We loved the warm weather, scenery, food, live music, people and fancy hotel.  Often Kels and I talk about visiting again or possibly living there in the future.  The location has a good vibe!

 When I woke up I wrote the following intention: I am having grace, kindness and peace for myself and others today.  I am calm and centered throughout the day using breath and OPA.  I am having a safe, warm and fun ride to work and home on my bike.  I am making money effortlessly today!  I am having fun with Mason and Kels this evening!  I am having opportunities to offer/give Reiki today.  I am healthy mentally, spiritually and physically today.   Result: 100 % Everything manifested.  It was a challenging day.  My supervisor was incorrect.  I ended up having a four hour training today AND tomorrow.  The great news, getting a break from doing intakes and working directly with clients.  I discovered the error thirty minutes before the training.  I had to be calm and centered in order to take quick action.  I was able to pull it off.  I showed up for the zoom training on time!  I internally said to myself to having grace, be kind and peaceful several times, so I wouldn't react negati

 As I was wakening, I heard, "They are praying for us."  My first thought is that people at my wife's workplace is praying for us.  Kels works for a Catholic grade school.  I believe the prayers are in response of tragic news in our community that directly affects her.  In my opinion, what Catholics do best...saying and sending prayers to others.

Daily Intention that I wrote this morning after waking: I am practicing grace, kindness and peace for myself and others today.  I am calm and centered using breath and OPA.  I am having a safe, warm and fun ride to work and home.  I am being patient and gentle with myself at work coming off vacation.  I am acting rather than reacting.   I am having fun with Mason and Kels this evening!  Money comes effortlessly!  I am doing Reiki.  Result: 100%.  Everything manifested!  Today I signed Kronos and was paid for two and a half weeks off.  Easy money!!  I sent Reiki-love and light to Kels, Mason and all those affected by the terrible tragedy that occurred recently that affected our very close friends, which treats us all as family.  I was able to gracious, kind and at peace throughout the day.  I managed my day extremely well, in spite of having to catch up on being gone for so long.  I acted and didn't act to others overwhelming stressors.  That included a case manager who reached out

I didn't get a chance to set a daily intention the morning of 1/3/21.  So, I set an intention before I went to bed.  I said quietly out loud to myself that I want to see my deceased brother Joel in my dreams.   Result: 100% Joel and my brother Pat showed up.  Joel was laughing out loud hard at all the puns I came up with on my own on the spot!  I was impressing Joel.  I was always wanting to impress my brother with my humor, since he was so hilarious.  I so badly wanted his approval when he was alive on many levels.  Hearing him laugh and impressing him made me feel good.  Pat was quiet and more in the background.  Pat and I were always competing for Joel's attention, love and acceptance.  Pat usually won out.

During morning meditation, I asked my Spirit Guide Somoya what I needed to know for today.  I then heard, "You have to be a blocker."  Yesterday my wife received traumatic news about a loved one.  Emotionally she is vulnerable at the moment.  I want to have my wife's back, like how she always has mine.  I encouraged her to take a day off from work.  I was so glad she did and was able to do self-care.  In addition, last evening, I requested that my son be kind and gentle towards Kels.  to be mindful of his behavior this week and to give her plenty of space to be quiet and process her feelings.  My wife informed me this evening that she was able to take a nice long and relaxing bath for two hours.  Also, she stated our son did a good job of being supportive by checking in and offering support during the day. 

During morning meditation, I was visualizing myself suiting up in my Mid-Eval armor.  I then heard, "Broken Bat."  I am not sure what this may be referring to.  My only guess, one of my old clients who use to play baseball, is back in the hospital.  I will have to keep this in the forefront of my mind and see if anything makes sense in the near future. 

During morning meditation, I asked if the Packers would win today.  I immediately felt and heard, "Yes."  The Packers were playing their last game of the regular season.  My wife Kels has been stating for several days that this is a huge game!  It is a rivalry that has gone on against the Chicago Bears for over a hundred years.  It is the longest rivalry between to NFL football teams in history.  Kels stated that if the Packers win, they will make the playoffs, get a bye and home field advantage. 

During morning meditation, I asked Somoya what I needed to know for today.  I then heard in Kel's voice, "So sad."  When I came downstairs for breakfast, the mood was somber.  She had just gotten off the phone with a dear friend.  My wife then shared a tragedy that greatly impacts our lives moving forward.  Having Somoya give me a heads up, kept me from being blind sided.  I was then more capable and prepared to offer support to my wife and son throughout the day.  It also gave me an opportunity to be more thoughtful, understanding and compassionate, rather than just emotionally react, quickly judge and criticize.     

 During morning meditation I heard, "Finds you both applicable." I was visualizing picking and gathering berries and water. I was also thinking about my friend Sarah who is seventy.  She likes meeting up with us often for lunch and catching up.  We all have fun together.  When I looked up the definition of applicable it stated the following:  relevant or appropriate.  My take away is Sarah finds both my wife Kelli and I to be both appropriate in sharing a friendship.  

After waking, I wrote the following daily intention: "I have grace, kindness and peace for my self and my loved ones and others.  I am calm and centered using breath and OPA.  I am having fun doing activities by myself, with Mason and Kels.  I am having fun, staying warm and having a safe ride with Mason.  I am making money effortlessly!  I am having a long day.  I feel filled up!  I am getting a haircut I like.  I am depositing my cash today.   Result:  95%=I didn't get a haircut today, but my wife agreed to give me a trim tomorrow.  That way I will be sure to like the haircut and it saves the family $30.00.  I went for a long walk in the rain with Mason in the evening, instead of a bike ride.  It was a safer choice, due to lack of sleep.  Our fire alarm went off at 5:30am, due to a weak battery.  I did receive a little interest today on our saving account.  Plus, Kels was generous enough to buy us some healthy drinks.  Everything else did come to fruition.

During my morning meditation, when I arrived at the Gazebo, I asked my Spirit Guide Somoya what I needed to know for today.  I heard, "You have the talent.  Don't let it go out the window."  At first I wasn't sure what this meant.  Since November of 2009, I have been feeding primarily one talent: Empowering myself and others with learning how to use OPA For Mental Health, LLC to manage stress, create and manage daily structure, set and achieve goals and get needs met with providers, other medical professionals and loved ones.  In addition, off and on over many many years, I give Reiki to myself, loved ones, animals and other people in need.  I truly have a passion for both OPA and Reiki.   Late this December and the beginning of 2021, two old passions have resurrected during my 19 days of winter vacation: Common place photography and daily blogging.  The past week or so, I have been getting back to photography.  I have been combining it with another passion that COVID

During my morning meditation, I was visualizing my routine of suiting up in my Mid-Eval armor.  I then heard, "Risk of dying alone."  This thought has caused me anxiety for many years.  I am the youngest of seven children.  Two of my siblings have committed suicide and my mother died four years ago at the age of eighty-four.  My father just turned ninety-one on December 24th, 2020.  I am forty-eight.   The rest of my siblings are in their fifties and sixties.  Sometimes my anxiety gets the best of me.  I fear I could possibly out live the rest of my family members and all of my loved ones.  I work really hard at balancing and maintaining my health: mentally, spiritually and physically, on a daily basis.  In addition, there is longevity on both sides of my family.  My grandma on my mom's side lived to ninety-three.  My dad's oldest brother is hundred and five years old!

When I woke up to use the bathroom in the middle of the night, I heard, "Lidocaine."  My wife the other day stated she has to see the dentist this coming Monday.  When I looked up Lidocaine on Google, it stated that the topical medicine is the most common anesthetic dentists use.  The medicine can treat irregular heartbeats (arrhythmias).  It can also relieve pain and numb the skin.  I am hoping the Lidocaine is able to minimize any discomfort my wife is currently feeling.  I am grateful for modern medicine.  Due to such medication, allows for treatment and saving of teeth and gums, which potentially extends our longevity.  Healthy teeth and gums directly contributes to having a healthy heart.  In the new year, I too will need to have a dental check-up.  I am working on making my teeth and gums a higher priority, when addressing my own health and wellness.  

This morning, after waking, I wrote the following as my intention for the day: I am having grace, kindness and peace for myself and others.  I am calm and centered using breath and OPA.  I am having a fun, safe and warm ride.   I am having fun spending time with myself, Kels and Mason.  Money comes effortlessly!  I am having a long day.  I feel filled up.  I am feeling light and happy!  I am enjoying music and dancing! Result:  Everything manifested, accept the bike ride!  I even put away $650.00 in savings!! 

                                                                                                                                                                                                        1/1/21  During meditation, I asked my Spirit Guide Somoya what I needed to know for today.  I then heard, "A horrible scent."  My take away is that when something dies, it leaves behind a horrible scent.  Today is the first day of the New Year: 2021!   Last year, 2020, is finally "dead".  It was a year of the good, bad and the ugly.  The year started with the pandemic: COVID-19, which lasted all year and continues...  Out of the entire world, most positive cases and deaths in the United States of America, due to poor presidential and government leadership.  Trump as president-enough said.  Horrible and violent protests, due to police heinous acts of murder against blacks in America. The good that came out of 2020, revealing the true dark underbelly of a lot of how Ameri

                                                                                                                                                                                                  1/1/21 During morning meditation, I heard, "That's a dangerous convention", while swallowing all the fruit at once as I shared food with my Spirit Guides Somoya and Jenja.  My take away is it can be dangerous to take in everything at once, whether it be a large mouth full of food or too much information about life itself.  Both can overwhelm us to the point of "choking" or feeling helpless.