Insights not Spite

Monday, February 25th During morning meditation, I asked my Spirit Guide Somoya what I needed to know for the day.  I then heard an internal voice say, "We got your allowance nailed down...it is just our retirement." It has taken a few years, but my wife and I finally have the financial incentives figured out in regards to our son Mason.  We figured out the right amount to motivate Mason to make his lunch and bed and fold his clothes on a daily basis.  In addition, Kelli upped his chores.  Mason is now caring for our bunnies the weeks he is with us.  Our son looks forward to payday.  He is excellent at saving!  He deposits most of his money. As for our retirement, that is another story.  We definitely want to make this and need this to grow.  We have some rainy day funds for emergencies, but just some in our work retirement plans.  Both my wife and I have the goal to start working on saving additional money for investing.  Our hope is to live even more simply, and

Sunday, February 24th During morning meditation, I asked my Spirit Guide Somoya what I needed to know for today.  I then heard an internal voice say, “Not going to be at next Super Bowl.  Not as sharp.”  While hearing this message from Somoya, I had a strong feeling this was referring to the Patriots. I know very little about football, but Tom Brady may have reached his peak.  Time will tell...

Saturday, February 23rd During morning meditation, I asked my Spirit Guide Somoya what I needed to know for today.  I then heard an internal voice say, “You’re going to get a lot of phone calls tonight.” Tomorrow is my birthday.  I will be turning 47.  I believe instead of phone calls, like when I was much younger, I will be getting all texts instead.  Unfortunately, technology has changed how we reach out to one another.  I feel a text and a birthday emoji are lame.  No effort or time put into connecting, but in our current world, it now counts as remembering and caring. The sad reality is if you’re not programmed into one’s phone calendar, you will fall off their radar.  The majority of us, including myself, have become so dependent on electronic devices to remember and keep track of everything for us.  I will be totally surprised if I actually receive one phone call wishing me happy birthday. Update:  2/25/19: As predicted, I received no phone calls on my birthday.  In fac

Friday, February 22nd During morning meditation, I asked my Spirit Guide Somoya what I needed to know for today.  I then heard an internal voice say, "Birthday weekend!" My birthday is this coming Sunday.  I am going to be turning 47.  I noticed this year I been focused on improving my health and wellness, pursuing professional goals, and improving family relationships, rather than looking forward to my birthday. It is also a bit daunting that I am creeping up on 50!  My adult years seem like a blur.  I am overall happy with my life accomplishments, but want the opportunity to do much more.  I spent the first 17 years of my life getting my body fit, and that felt amazing!  Then when I had my mental break in college, thus far, I spent my adult life getting my mind healthy again.  I feel solid around my mental health, but my physical health (being toned and having a strong core) has fallen to the wayside. I feel ready to address my physical health on a more consistent b

Thursday, February 21st During morning meditation, I asked my Spirit Guide Somoya what I needed to know for today.  I then heard an internal voice say, "History repeats itself." I am not sure why Somoya sent me this message.  As a child, I heard this phrase from my father.  It never referenced anything good.  It just meant that people keep making the same mistakes over and over.  We keep having wars.  Humans don't overall evolve very much, when it comes to their behavior. As I type, I have one optimistic thought that came to mind.  Since history does repeat itself, we are all so fortunate to possibly have a second, third, forth, etc., chance to try again at being good, courageous, brave, selfless, kind, generous, thoughtful, loving, helpful, sensitive, sympathetic, empathetic, supportive, and non-judgmental.  I am now much more grateful by having this new perspective.  Thank you, Somoya!

Wednesday, February 20th During morning meditation, I asked my Spirit Guide Somoya what I needed to know for today.  I then heard an internal voice say, "We're both responsible for the fires." I have a love for the woods.  I grew up in the mountains in Issaquah during the seventies and eighties.  I hope to spend more time in the wilderness with my wife Kels, once our son is an adult. Last night, I was watching a documentary with my wife that had a lot of beautiful cinematography of the wilderness in northern California.  I remember having an anxious thought in the moment about the extensive forest being destroyed by careless people.  This at times happens in Eastern Washington, around the country, and the world. I believe Somoya was making the point that both humans (their creation of fire and misuse of it) and Mother Nature (lightening strikes) are both responsible for these fires that do occur from time to time:  past and present.  In that case, we as humans can

Tuesday, February 19th During my evening meditation, I asked my Spirit Guide Somoya what I needed to know for today.  I then heard an internal voice say, "A book doesn't make itself." Over the last several years, I have had several people encourage me to write a book regarding my life story and the development of OPA For Mental Health, LLC.  To be honest, up until now, I just lacked the confidence in my ability to write well in my own voice.  I had been encouraged to hire a ghost writer in the past, but I found that insulting.  I want to own the process of writing, if I choose to go this path. There is interest in my workplace to make my cognitive method for managing stress evidence based.  If I choose to pursue it, this would lead to publishing, which would naturally lead to writing a book at some point.  When this all manifests, I will have more drive and moral support from those around me to create a behavioral health/self-help book.

Monday, February 18th During evening meditation, I asked my Spirit Guide Somoya what I needed to know for today.  I then heard an internal voice say, "Attempted suicide." I am on vacation this week.  Our son has mid winter break.   I am thoroughly enjoying my time with my wife and son.  As a result, I don't have my clients at the forefront of my mind at all.  I know my clients are in good hands.  My teammates are well seasoned and hard workers.  They are covering my caseload while I am out.  When I am at work, I do have two clients that I am concerned about on a daily basis.   I hope to return to work next week hearing positive steps being made in recovery with the people I am serving. 

Sunday, February 17th During my evening meditation, I asked my Spirit Guide Somoya what I needed to know.  I then heard an internal voice say, "Everyone off their cell phones." I personally would like Somoya's message to manifest in our home more often.  We as a family have a tendency to check texts and emails throughout the weekend and weeknights.  It would be nice to designate a time for all three of us to take care of our phone activity, then focus on one another or ourselves the rest of the time. I personally feel cell phones are a want and a HUGE distraction.  I am guilty of being addicted to the "green flashing light", "dings," and "vibrations".  We obviously are all quite simple creatures, when it comes to responding to these types of smart phone features! I get the convenience and ease of communication with cell phones, but we then miss out in the moments with the people around us.  I don't like the disconnection it create

Saturday, February 16th During morning meditation, I asked my Spirit Guide Somoya what I needed to know for today.  I then heard an internal voice say, "I don't just like feeling."   When I heard this message, it didn't feel like a good feeling to begin with.  I woke up feeling pressured, instead of excited.  The last couple of weeks I have had the request from my loved ones to make Lebanese bread.  Today was the day.  They love the bread.  I love it.  Everyone we share it with loves eating the bread too.  The process is time intensive, physically demanding, messy, and produces a great deal of heat.   I tend to put a lot of pressure on myself, cause it is my grandma's recipe.  It is easy to mess up.  Since I want to share the bread with my wife, son, my dad, and my co-workers, I chose to make a large batch that resulted in 40 loaves.  As a result, it took me most of the day to complete this task:  preparing the bread, baking, and clean up the kitchen w

Friday, February 15th As I was getting ready to fall asleep this evening, I heard my Spirit Guide Somoya say, "What happens if you don't die?" I have no idea why Somoya wanted me to hear this message.  My wife Kels, Mason, and I are planning to get together this coming Sunday for lunch with my dad.  He wants to take me out and celebrate my upcoming birthday. My dad is going to be 90 years old this coming December 24th.  He definitely has seen a lot and been through a great deal. My logical guess is if we didn't die, what would instill the fear of growing and improving one's self.  None of us know if this is "the end", or if we are coming back over and over again.  Knowing that the body is finite, and not having met anyone that has come back from the dead, makes most of us want to enjoy the moments alive that much more.  We have the opportunity to appreciate life itself, when we know our time on this Earth is uncertain, before the Universe draws the

Friday, February 15th During morning meditation, I asked my Spirit Guide Somoya what I need to know for today.  I then heard an internal voice say, "There is too much anger." I felt uncomfortable hearing this message sent from Somoya.  At first, I wanted the message just to be regarding the state of our world in general.  I like to see myself as someone who doesn't have a lot of anger.  But when I took time to reflect, I realized I am often feeling anger inside  (due to uncontrolled anxieties/fears), which results in me sometimes expelling it on my wife and son. I own that have a lot of anxieties and fears.  Both my parents exhibited anxiety and fear when I was growing up.  Their worries and concerns bled onto me over the years.  My father's anxieties and fears manifested as anger in the home, but my mom often defused her anxiety with humor. I now realize I learned and took on my father's unhealthy coping mechanism of using anger to try and control my anxi

Thursday, February 14th During morning meditation, I asked my Spirit Guide Somoya what I needed to know for today.  I then heard an internal voice say, "Consequences for your actions."  I am not sure what referring to or whom. Later in the morning, my wife sent a picture of a woman who slipped on the ice and snow in front of our apartment building.  She was laying on the ground surrounded by paramedics. Earlier in the week, we had a major snow storm that hit the Northwest.  It was the largest snow storm for February in seventy years.  When it was snowing, I recall my wife Kels stating, "People need to clear their sidewalks.  It is the law."  I argued back stating that at my workplace that any behavioral outbursts on the sidewalk was the cities problem, not the responsibility of the agency. It ends up, my wife is correct.  When it comes to Mother Nature and what she delivers, people are technically responsible for clearing their sidewalks.  It is the law. O

Wednesday, February 13th During evening meditation, I asked my Spirit Guide Somoya what I needed to know for the day.  I then heard an internal voice say, "This isn't apples to apples.  This is an unstable place to be."  While I heard this, I had a visual of being in a long line in public at night.  It appeared to be in a city with a chain fence to the left of us.  The first thing I heard (comparing apples to apples) means comparing things that can reasonably be compared.  I didn't feel safe in the visual of being in the dark, while waiting in a lone line with strangers.  Not sure why I heard this message and saw this visual.  

Tuesday, February 12th During morning meditation, I asked my Spirit Guide Somoya what I needed to know for today.  I then heard an internal voice say, "Thatch roofs keep things cool." I am not sure why Somoya shared this random fact.  I made the assumption that the reason thatch roofs are used is only because they are the only materials available for that particular region in the world.  I learned by Googling, that thatch roofs contain a large amount of trapped air which is a bad conductor of heat.  Hence, heat from the outside doesn't flow into thatched roof houses.  Thus they remain cool in the summer. Other benefits I learned about thatch roofs:  Being an insulator, it also keeps the house warm during the winter.  The dry vegetation is layered in a way as to shed water away from the inner roof.  The pitch of the roof has to be steep, in order to have the water run off quickly.  The bulk of the vegetation stays dry and is densely packed.  Another fact about thatch

Monday, February 11th During morning meditation, I asked my Spirit Guide Somoya what I needed to know for the day.  I then heard an internal voice say, "Mama going to miss you." I have a strong feeling that this is referring to my wife Kels missing our bunny Mocha.  She often is worrying about his health and wellness.  She cares and takes care of him as if he was a human being.  She talks to him as if he is a small sweet boy.  It will really break her heart, when his time comes to move on from this Earth. I struggle having such a deep relationship with our Mocha.  I grew up with many animals and suffered a lot of loss, either from them dying or my father getting rid of the animals.  I am scared to get as close as my wife has become to Mocha.  In the recent years, I have had a lot of human loss within my family, co-workers, and the people that I serve in my workplace.   He is a super sweet bun, super cute, which makes it difficult not to love him.   I will work on offe

Sunday, February 10th During morning meditation, I asked my Spirit Guide Somoya what I needed to know for today.  I than heard an internal voice say, “Write down all your negative thoughts.” This idea passed onto me by Somoya is brilliant.  I now realize how can I truly think and believe in my positive daily thoughts and have them manifest, if I remain in trenched with life long and ongoing negative thoughts about myself?  All my automatic and repetitive negative thoughts over the years continue to throw up a wall (more affective than Trumps) and prevent positive thoughts from grabbing hold and thriving. This past Thursday, after I ran my cognitive behavioral support group, I had a client come up to me and ask me how I have been successful at accepting and living with mental illness.  He stated he is struggling.  I shared some of my personal story.  Afterwards, the clt thanked me by saying, “You are such a good listener and you are the only one who has spent 20 minutes to speak w

Saturday, February 9th During morning meditation, I asked my Spirit Guide Somoya what I needed to know for today.  I then heard an internal voice say, "Give him room to process." I am confident this refers to working with our son Mason.  He struggles with processing his feelings internally and moving forward from thoughts of hurt and sadness.  I also struggle in the same way.  Therefore, I need to be more understanding, empathetic, compassionate, and supportive of our son, rather than trying to force the conversation.  Obviously, dialog and healing needs to happen, but I could be more patient and implosive in how I address his emotional stressors.  The more I force, the more he clams up.  This is opposite of how I respond to support.  If someone shows concern and asks me questions, I open up like a broken dam. Thank you Somoya for this insight about our son, and reminding me that we respond to support around emotional stressors differently.  He is his own person.  We ar

Friday, February During morning meditation, I asked my Spirit Guide Somoya what I needed to know for today.  I then heard an internal voice say, "Laugh.  Laugh.  Laugh.  Laugh." I was thinking and ruminating on several upsetting thoughts that resulted from the special meeting at work the previous day.  I felt hurt by my manager's reactions.  I wasn't expecting her to be at the meeting.  She kept minimizing my feelings, and trying to cut me off, when I was making valid points about what is working and not working in our workplace.  This has been an ongoing problem for 10 years.  I continued to get bullied by her and she is threatened by my power and honesty.  What is even more hurtful, is she never tries to shut down or minimize my co-workers who are female.  She allows them to talk out of turn, interrupt, and dominate meetings. The only reason I have not left my workplace, is recently I have been blessed with a new direct supervisor.  As a result, I rarely have

Thursday, February 7th During morning meditation, I asked my Spirit Guide Somoya what I needed to know for today's morning's special work meeting.   We are having a consultant from LA visit.  She is trying to gather feedback on what would improve patient care and groups on the psych units.  As a result, I heard/received many ideas to share.  I received 8 ideas to improve groups/inpatient patient care.  I wrote them all down while getting ready for work.   I had the opportunity to share 6 of 8 ideas.  The consultant liked and appreciated my input.  In addition, she stated she and my workplace are interested in making my form of CBT evidenced based.  It was nice to hear, but I am cautiously optimistic.  I have been down this path before, but ended it, due to my workplace stating they would own the data as a result.    This time I have a business partner.  I shot him a text to keep him in the loop and get his input.  I feel more secure and supported this time around

Tuesday, February 5th During morning meditation, I asked my Spirit Guide Somoya what I needed to know for today.  I then heard an internal voice say, "Garnishes...Jack Burns." I ended up Googling Jack Burns, cause I had no idea who he was.  It ends up that he is an American comedian, actor, voice actor, writer, and producer.  I love comedy.  It ends up that he did stand up with George Carlin and Avery Schreiber.  I am a big fan of George Carlin.  He also was a writer and producer on such comedy series as The Muppet Show and Her Haw.  He also had many roles as a voice actor.  He is 85 years old.  I plan to check out his stand up with George Carlin.   Stand up is my favorite comedy and much needed in my life.  I tend to be a pretty serious individual My profession is also very serious-assisting others in their mental health recovery.  Before my brother Joel died in 2007, he was my comic relief.  Joel was hilarious.  He brought me and my family much joy with his quic

Sunday, February 3rd During morning meditation, I asked my Spirit Guide Somoya what I needed to to know for today.  I then heard an internal voice say, “God senses what I can do.” When I was a child, my mom often said, “Don’t worry.  God only gives you what you can handle.” I believe this to be true, based on my own life experience thus far.  I feel what Somoya is sharing states something similar.  God knows my talents, abilities, and what I can offer to the world.  I, like most people, need to spend less time thinking and trying to figure out what I can do with my time on this earth.  I need to let go, step aside, and be open to God’s/Universal daily guidance by following my gut.  This requires me letting go of my anxious thoughts and personal agendas. My mom also use to say, “Let go.  Let God.”  These phrases are now making more sense to me as I age.  The more I relax and let go of control, the easier life is becoming.  Whatever is going to happen...is going to happen, as my wi

Saturday, February 2nd During morning meditation, I asked my Spirit Guide Somoya what I needed to know for today.  I then heard an internal voice say, "Why do I have to share myself with you?"   Our son Mason's close friend Siun moved back to Korea this past Wednesday.  Mason has felt very sad since his departure.  He has been quiet, lethargic, and appears somewhat depressed.  Per history, our son struggles greatly with connecting to his inner most feelings and sharing them with his loved ones.  This results in our son acting out passive aggressively around getting his homework done.  In spite of giving our son a chance to process his feelings the night before, he still kept his feelings to himself and refused to share openly.  Then later that evening, while going through emails, we received a message from his teacher that Mason is being "resistant" to receiving support from a TA. Since Somoya shared this insight with me this morning, I decided to hav

Friday, February 1st During morning meditation, I asked my Spirit Guide Somoya what I needed to know for today.  I then heard an internal voice say, "I should be helping you find a new job." Currently, I have been cautiously optimistic about my current position, due to having a new supervisor.  Right now we are in the honeymoon phase.  I do have my resume updated.  I have checked out a couple agencies, but I would have to take a cut in pay, take on more work responsibilities, more stress, be at risk of seeing or being involved in violence, and fewer benefits.  I may be better off seeking out a different position the my current workplace, if needed.  Right now I am enjoying the support I am receiving from my current supervisor.  As a result, I feel less stressed and I enjoy doing my job again.

Wednesday, January 30th During morning meditation, I asked my Spirit Guide Somoya what I needed to know for today.  I then heard an internal voice say, "Driving with thousands.  Detroit."   Before going to bed last night, my wife mentioned how it is 50 below in Chicago, Illinois, and minus temperatures in other mid-west states.  That they have declared state of emergencies.  People are not able to work or go to school, due to the frigid weather.   Out of curiosity, I Googled Detroit and driving.  Several articles came up about how it is ranked the number one worst city in the country to drive in, especially in the winter.  One article, The Daily Detroit stated, "If you're given a speeding ticket in Michigan, your car insurance rate will increase by an average 49.73 percent.  That increase comes in second to Illinois' 98.65 percent increase.  The national average in insurance rate increase for this offense is 29 percent." Detroit has an overall

Tuesday, January 29th During morning meditation, I asked my Spirit Guide Somoya what I needed to know for today.  I then heard an internal voice say, "How much are you going to create, if you are only going to recreate?" I haven't been able to create new ideas/inventions, since I developed OPA For Mental Health, LLC.  I have been mastering and teaching OPA for 9 years out in the community and in the workplace.  While pursuing OPA further as a business, I feel it is time to allow myself to come up with new ideas/creations, but do this for the workplace. My new manager is appreciative and encourages new ideas.  When I am allowed to problem solve, share new ideas and implement them in the workplace, this feeds one of my many passions.  My new supervisor is good about giving credit where credit is due.  He notes it in "the minutes" during our weekly meetings. I really appreciate the concept of "giving credit where credit is due".  It is a lot of fu

Monday, January 28th During morning meditation, I asked my Spirit Guide Somoya what I need to know for today.  I then heard an internal voice say, "Ho!  Ho!"  I felt excited and curious who might give me a gift and what it might be.  At the same time, I was confused why I would be receiving a random gift. At work today, during the middle of the day, I had to drop off some paperwork in the mailroom.  I checked my mailbox and there was a form congratulating me for my 10 years of service at my job.  The paper asked me to choose one of several gifts, and put the paper in someones box to process the order.   I really felt appreciated in the moment.  I choose a gift that was most meaningful and would last:  quality ball point pen.   I was extremely happy to see Somoya's message manifest so quickly!  I shared the fun and excitement, by texting my wife about this experience after it occurred.  

Sunday, January 27 During morning meditation, I asked my Spirit Guide Somoya what I needed to know for the day.  I then heard an internal voice say, "Slow it down." I feel this refers to moments of trying new things, experiencing new activities, and having fun.  My son just shared recently these three are what make him overall happy.  I need to purposefully slow each of these moments down to create more happiness.  The same goes for when I enjoy eating, drinking fluids, showering, etc.  I find it hard not to rush off to the next activity.  Each moment needs to be appreciated and recognized.  All leads to gratitude and happiness!

Saturday, January 26th During morning meditation, I asked my Spirit Guide Somoya what I needed to know for today.  I then heard an internal voice say, "I realize I am surrounded by angels."  At the same time, I received a visual of white light wrapped around me in a circle.  This made me feel comforted and secure.  This was an amazing realization and sensation.  Thank you Somoya for providing me with this information!

Thursday, January 24th During morning meditation, I asked my Spirit Guide Somoya what I needed to know for today.  I then heard an internal voice say, "I have to come from it from all different sources."   When I arrived at work this morning, the first email that grabbed my attention was from my manager.  She completed my annual evaluation.  In December, I had completed my portion and it took several hours.  I had to use sever different sources (co-worker feedback and examples of my work in the community) to justify a perfect score on my evaluation.  In my ten years of working at my job, I hadn't scored 100%, but have always come close.  I was extremely shocked and happily surprised by all of the kind and supportive statements my manager made about my contributions to the team this past year.  We don't always see eye to eye.  As a result, I received a perfect score!  Having this concrete feedback means a lot.  For me, it is more meaningful than kind words in pe