Consequences for Your Actions (Contains Update)
Thursday, February 14th
During morning meditation, I asked my Spirit Guide Somoya what I needed to know for today. I then heard an internal voice say, "Consequences for your actions." I am not sure what referring to or whom.
Later in the morning, my wife sent a picture of a woman who slipped on the ice and snow in front of our apartment building. She was laying on the ground surrounded by paramedics.
Earlier in the week, we had a major snow storm that hit the Northwest. It was the largest snow storm for February in seventy years. When it was snowing, I recall my wife Kels stating, "People need to clear their sidewalks. It is the law." I argued back stating that at my workplace that any behavioral outbursts on the sidewalk was the cities problem, not the responsibility of the agency.
It ends up, my wife is correct. When it comes to Mother Nature and what she delivers, people are technically responsible for clearing their sidewalks. It is the law.
Our landlord and the live in manager made very little effort to manage the sidewalks in front of our apartment building. Only the front entrance to our building was cleared, not the back entrance. The street sidewalk in front of our building was not cleared of snow and ice. This is where the woman slipped and fell. It is possible that she could request that the landlord cover her medical bills. This possibly could be the "natural consequences of your actions." Washington State is a very litigious state. Hopefully this won't be the case.
2/18/19 Update:
A chronic issue that our son has had since he has been three years old is wanting to be in control. It is understandable, due to the fact that he is a product of a divorce. Since separation and divorce, my ex-wife and I have spoiled him and enabled him over the years. We gave him all the control and power.
I was blessed to enter into a new healthy relationship with my second wife Kelli. She has been in my life for 10 years. Fortunately, having Kels in my life has influenced me to change my behavior in how I raise our son. I have learned from my wife Kels to be a father, not a best friend. I have learned from her to be consistent with rules and boundaries, while being patient and calm. She has taught me to take back my power and happiness. As a result, things have slowly improved in our relationship with our son in our home.
The one ongoing problem is he states that if everything isn't fun like "playtime", then he won't give us his best, especially when it comes to daily homework. Our son resorts to being passive aggressive, rather than showing up. Him putting forth good effort is not consistent, but in fact very sporadic. My wife Kelli and I find ourselves working twice as hard, which tends to make us feel exhausted and frustrated. He shows his brilliance with electronics and cell phones, but with homework, only when he wants to. We do reward him with playtime, money, TV time, and cell time, when he puts forth a good effort, but there is still a tendency for him to act out passively and act super tired.
Today, I decided to try something different. Instead of attempting to "fix him" with my long winded suggestions and supportive ideas, I chose to empower him. I simply stated, "You are old enough to problem solve and use your words to state how you feel and what you need. You take as much time as you need and think about what you need to make doing daily homework more manageable. Once you have that figured out, please share with us. I will then add your wisdom to my notes on my phone, so the three of us don't forget, and you are held accountable. I then quietly retreated to our bedroom, with out being upset. I reminded him that we had already started a folder on my phone to capture his words of wisdom for making our home more pleasant and healthy. I am hoping that this will give him control over himself. I hope him sharing input will take away the helpless feelings that he often feels with divorce. I sympathize, but don't know what it is like to be exactly in his shoes. I was not a product of divorce until my adult life, which is much different. Adult children have freedom of choice and the capacity to process and articulate their feelings a lot better.
During morning meditation, I asked my Spirit Guide Somoya what I needed to know for today. I then heard an internal voice say, "Consequences for your actions." I am not sure what referring to or whom.
Later in the morning, my wife sent a picture of a woman who slipped on the ice and snow in front of our apartment building. She was laying on the ground surrounded by paramedics.
Earlier in the week, we had a major snow storm that hit the Northwest. It was the largest snow storm for February in seventy years. When it was snowing, I recall my wife Kels stating, "People need to clear their sidewalks. It is the law." I argued back stating that at my workplace that any behavioral outbursts on the sidewalk was the cities problem, not the responsibility of the agency.
It ends up, my wife is correct. When it comes to Mother Nature and what she delivers, people are technically responsible for clearing their sidewalks. It is the law.
Our landlord and the live in manager made very little effort to manage the sidewalks in front of our apartment building. Only the front entrance to our building was cleared, not the back entrance. The street sidewalk in front of our building was not cleared of snow and ice. This is where the woman slipped and fell. It is possible that she could request that the landlord cover her medical bills. This possibly could be the "natural consequences of your actions." Washington State is a very litigious state. Hopefully this won't be the case.
2/18/19 Update:
A chronic issue that our son has had since he has been three years old is wanting to be in control. It is understandable, due to the fact that he is a product of a divorce. Since separation and divorce, my ex-wife and I have spoiled him and enabled him over the years. We gave him all the control and power.
I was blessed to enter into a new healthy relationship with my second wife Kelli. She has been in my life for 10 years. Fortunately, having Kels in my life has influenced me to change my behavior in how I raise our son. I have learned from my wife Kels to be a father, not a best friend. I have learned from her to be consistent with rules and boundaries, while being patient and calm. She has taught me to take back my power and happiness. As a result, things have slowly improved in our relationship with our son in our home.
The one ongoing problem is he states that if everything isn't fun like "playtime", then he won't give us his best, especially when it comes to daily homework. Our son resorts to being passive aggressive, rather than showing up. Him putting forth good effort is not consistent, but in fact very sporadic. My wife Kelli and I find ourselves working twice as hard, which tends to make us feel exhausted and frustrated. He shows his brilliance with electronics and cell phones, but with homework, only when he wants to. We do reward him with playtime, money, TV time, and cell time, when he puts forth a good effort, but there is still a tendency for him to act out passively and act super tired.
Today, I decided to try something different. Instead of attempting to "fix him" with my long winded suggestions and supportive ideas, I chose to empower him. I simply stated, "You are old enough to problem solve and use your words to state how you feel and what you need. You take as much time as you need and think about what you need to make doing daily homework more manageable. Once you have that figured out, please share with us. I will then add your wisdom to my notes on my phone, so the three of us don't forget, and you are held accountable. I then quietly retreated to our bedroom, with out being upset. I reminded him that we had already started a folder on my phone to capture his words of wisdom for making our home more pleasant and healthy. I am hoping that this will give him control over himself. I hope him sharing input will take away the helpless feelings that he often feels with divorce. I sympathize, but don't know what it is like to be exactly in his shoes. I was not a product of divorce until my adult life, which is much different. Adult children have freedom of choice and the capacity to process and articulate their feelings a lot better.
This is brilliant! Way to go.
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