Insights not Spite

Friday, November 23rd During morning meditation, I asked my Spirit Guide Somoya what I needed to know for the day.  I then heard an internal voice say, "Christmas...forced into love." I had a feeling in the moment this applied to giving and receiving being forced amongst family members and friends on Christmas.  It is so nice to be in my forties and not care what others think of me or of my actions.  I do what is best and healthiest for myself, my immediate family, and the environment.  This year is the first time my wife and I agreed not to buy each other gifts for Christmas.  We are refusing to "show love" for one another this way, which marketing has brainwashed our society into believing this is necessary to do each year.  The bigger and more expensive gift, implies the more love you have for that individual.  My wife offered up the example of a high end vehicle with a big red bow attached.  There isn't a year that doesn't go by without se...

Thursday, November 22nd During morning meditation, I asked my Spirit Guide Somoya what I needed to know for the day.  (As a side note, I was thinking about a friend's daughter in the moment.  We are going to a friend's home for Thanksgiving.  The friend had shared the last time we had hung out that her daughter is struggling.  Our friend asked if I could possibly check in with her daughter and offer some support.  I had stated I would be happy to be of assistance, if her daughter is interested.) I then heard an internal voice say, "A pack of lies."  Often times when a person is struggling with extreme emotions, their perceptions become skewed.  One can lie a lot, without recognizing they are lying to others.  This is very strenuous on relationships.  I plan to be open, available, and to profoundly listen.  I will avoid fixing and/or challenging the person's behavior.

Wednesday, November 21st During morning meditation, I asked my Spirit Guide Somoya what I needed to know for today.  Then I heard a voice say, "Cheating...Dorris." I don't know anyone named Dorris.  I personally can't stand anyone who cheats on anything or on anyone.  I use to get so upset in high school when classmates would cheat looking over my shoulder during exams.  I hated when I found out my fellow competitors in cycling where using steroids to cheat.  I was ashamed and disgusted to hear of Lance Armstrong cheating to win all 7 Tour De Frances.  I use to compete against him as a junior cyclist.  He was probably cheating back then.  I get very frustrating when I hear about co-workers using stimulants to get through their classes, as they advance their careers.  It makes me mad when people cheat in sports and body strengthening.  Most of all, I despise anyone who cheats on their partners.  It is one thing that I can't l...

Monday, November 19th During morning meditation, I asked my Spirit Guide Somoya what I needed to know for the day.  I then heard a voice say, "What are the tree canopies like?" I was thinking of our friend Robin's cabin during meditation.  When I heard what Somoya had to share, It makes me want to learn more about the Amazon.  We are destroying a forest that is necessary for keeping our planet healthy.  I want to know how much is left and how to help, like protecting our oceans.  I still need to make the effort to donate to both Green Peace.  I want to donate to both Green Peace and an non-profit organization that protects the Amazon tree canopy.  For Christmas, I have decided this year to give Mother Earth gifts, since she is always giving to all of us daily.  I plan to make donations to Green Peace and an non-profit organization that supports the Amazon rainforest.  I am encouraging my wife and son to choose non-profits and make donatio...

Sunday, November 18th During morning meditation, I asked my Spirit Guide Somoya what I needed to know for the day.  I then heard in my son's voice, "We do not need to fixate on the same thing everyday."  Our son lives with ADHD.  He fixates on electronics, batteries, battery charges, TV commercials, anything that is electronic.  My wife and I struggle daily, the weeks we have him, with getting our son to naturally switch from topic to topic and/or activities.  Our son is getting better with being redirected and transitioning with age and constant support and positive reinforcement.

Saturday, November 17th During morning meditation, I asked my Spirit Guide Somoya what I needed to know for today.  I then heard an internal voice say, "Are you willing to take a different route?"  During the meditation, my inner self answered back by saying, "Sure!"  This is the second time I have had back and forth with Somoya. I feel this message from Somoya pertains to moving forward from my current position.  I need to be open and flex with my path of getting from A to B with my next job change.  I was doing mazes with my son last evening.  I was stating how I find the mazes more challenging to complete.  My son does them with such ease. With mazes, it is never a direct straight path from A to B.  You have to be flexible and be willing to move in all different directions, take different paths, even if it doesn't make sense at the time.  This method seems not to make since and seems backwards in order to reach the end goal. ...

Friday, November 16th During morning meditation, I asked my Spirit Guide Somoya what I needed to know for today.  I then heard an internal voice say, "The last two weeks, I was the energy bird!" I feel Somoya was referring to a hummingbird.  I have been very productive both at work, home, and improving my body strength.  At work, I have been getting clients their needs met, even though it has been emotionally challenging.  At home, I joined the gym and have been working out on a regular basis.  In addition, last weekend I worked with my wife to rid our home of more stuff.  We were able to reduce our kitchen wants, to basic kitchen needs.  It was not a fun or easy process, but I am glad we did it.  We also worked on our financial goals together, so we can eventually become financially independent in 10 or 15 years.   For me, that in itself was a very overwhelming topic to discuss.  My wife and I managed to get through it without hurt ...

Thursday, November 15th During morning meditation, I asked my Spirit Guide Somoya what I needed to know for today.  I then heard my internal voice say, "I am getting rid of these dreams."  I was feeling insecure and anxious during meditation.  I was assuming and worrying about things I didn't have any facts about.  I often have anxiety dreams during the night. These are my old patterns of behavior since childhood.   Assuming and worrying has never served me well.  I unfortunately learned this behavior from my mother.  I am working hard to change this behavior daily in the workplace and in my personal/family life.

Wednesday, November 14th During morning meditation, I asked my Spirit Guide Somoya what I needed to know for today.  I then heard an internal voice say, "I am not asking you.  I am telling you." My interpretation of Somoya's message is still regarding to how I care for myself, as I get myself back into shape.  Yesterday, I did some treatment work on my knee.  I did cross fiber friction on the lateral ligament and energy work.  I am being very mindful of walking rather than jogging this week.  I am also taking it slow walking down big hills.  While falling asleep last night,  I gave myself another Reiki treatment.  I feel a little less sore today.  I am thrilled I don't feel worse!  I did have to walk a lot yesterday for my job. Today and moving forward, I am adhering to Somoya's weekend advice, regarding just compete with myself and not others.  Go at my pace to gain back my strength, without re-aggravating old injuries o...

Tuesday, November 13th During morning meditation, I asked my Spirit Guide Somoya what I needed to know for today.  I then heard an internal voice say, "I don't want knee surgery." I am not sure if this pertained to me or our friend Nan.  On Sunday, when gathering with friends to watch the Packers play the Dolphins, our friend Nan stated she had slipped and fell the day before and injured a ligament in her right knee.  She stated she didn't want to have to get a MRI done, due to out of pocket cost.  She hopes to not need surgery.  I offered her a session of energy work, while watching the game.  In addition, her brother, a physical therapist, did some PT treatment during the game.  We all hope she heals quickly and can avoid surgery.  My wife turned to me and asked, "Have you ever had a knee injury?"  I knocked on wood, and stated, "No...thankfully!" I met my goal of completing four days of spin class as of yesterday!  Unfortunately...

Monday, November 12th During morning meditation, I asked my Spirit Guide Somoya what I needed to know for the day.  I then heard an internal voice say,"Remember that last experience I sent you yesterday."  Then I heard myself in the meditation reply back by saying, "That was really cool, Somoya!" This is the first time I had an actual dialogue with my Spirit Guide during a meditation.  I am very excited about the progress of my spiritual journey. I was going to skip spin class today.  I had even stated to my wife last night before going to bed that I would skip spin Monday.  I excused myself based on getting cramps in my right calf the last couple of days and feeling overall tired.  My fear is I won't be feeling and riding at my best. After having this dialogue with Somoya this morning, I am now going to ride at 7pm this evening.  I will do great, cause I am just competing with myself and no one else.  All week I had myself mentally prepared...

Sunday, November 11th During morning meditation, I asked my Spirit Guide Somoya what I needed to know for today.  I then internally heard a voice say, "Look you smarto, letting others pass you."  (What is funny is my best friends in high school often gave me nicknames.  Now Somoya is engaging with me in this fashion.) My interpretation is I am finally learning that it is OK not to be the best, when competing against others in spin class.  Best to compete against myself.  This will make cycling fun again and sustainable as a form of exercise. I will be fifty years old in 3 years.  This sounds old to me, but I don't feel old or look it.  What is shocking to me is I will be a senior citizen in nine years! Most of the spin class members are younger, but I am having no problem keeping up with the class pace.  Some are stronger and faster, and I for once am not bothered or reacting internally with negative feelings about myself.   I am going ...

Saturday, November 10th During morning meditation, I asked my Spirit Guide Somoya what I needed to know for today.  I then internally heard a voice say, "Say no to tapping."   When I was a small child, I had a bad habit of listening in on my parent's arguments that partook behind closed doors.  I would put my ear to their bedroom door, while trying to hear what they were arguing about.  By not hearing every word, added to my anxiety and angst about the future of our family.    The same is happening in my work environment.  Their is a lot of stress and management and staff are leaving in droves.  I have learned over the years, if not invited to be apart of the conversation, best not to force self into it.  Be implosive with my energy.  Take the least past of resistance.  I need to trust the Universe will make me privy to what I need to know and when.

Friday, November 9th During morning meditation, I asked my Spirit Guide Somoya what I needed to know for today.  I then heard an internal voice say, "Just focus on what you need to do." This is my day off from work.  I tend to quickly fill it with lots of things to do, both wants and needs. Per history, I push aside my own needs to fulfill other people's needs or wants. Today I wrote down only my needs:  Spin class at 24 Hour Fitness.  Job search.  Meet my friend Eric to discuss our future trainings/presentations.  Happy hour with my wife.  As a result, I had a really wonderful day!  Thank you, Somoya!  Glad I listened to you.

Thursday, Nevember 8th During morning meditation, I asked my Spirit Guide Somoya what I needed to know for today.  I then heard internally a voice say, "I am going to be a millionaire."  While hearing the words, I saw my son Mason's face, but also felt it also applied to myself. I plan to discuss with my intellectual property lawyer, Mike Atkins, whether to gift my product to my workplace to use for free after my departure (free promotion), or have him write a letter to terminate the use of my product.  I just want to continue to be clear the product belongs to me, since I will continue to teach and be paid in the community.

Wednesday, November 7th During morning meditation, I asked my Spirit Guide Somoya what I needed to know for today.  Then heard internally a voice say, "I am here, but they are not here today."  I heard and saw lawyer Kathleen speaking to Avery regarding his case.  After the Nov 6th election, there has been a HUGE political shake up in Wisconsin.  This does offer hopes that possibly someday Avery and his nephew will be rightfully set free from prison. In addition, I feel my Spirit Guide and the Universe are saying the same for me.  I am looking to move on to a different job with a different company.  My workplace is not what it use to be.  It has changed dramatically in the last five years.  Money first, not people first.  I need to stay true to myself, making people first.  I need to trust Somoya and the Universe have my back as I make a change in jobs and company.

Tuesday, November 6th During morning meditation, I asked my Spirit Guide Somoya what I needed to know for today.  I then internally heard a voice say, "But you have nothing to worry about."  I am in the process of getting letters of recommendations and references for future a job.  Yesterday I spoke with a psychiatrist that I work with.  He was super supportive and willing to offer me support.  He stated my product/support group is most liked on the unit by patients.  He says I do a great job with patients.  He asked me to send him an email highlighting my skill-sets and accomplishments, then he will write a letter.  He needs a skeletal structure to work from, cause he is too busy.  He said he would keep letter on file and make letter general, if I want.  

Monday, November 5th During morning meditation, I asked my Spirit Guide Somoya what I needed to know for today.   I had a random past thought of when I use to live in Louisiana for a short stint the year before Hurricane Katrina.  Then I heard a voice say, "Constantly under siege."  If it wasn't crime (at the time they were considered the number one most dangerous city in the country), it was being besieged by yearly storms or hurricanes.  I miss the people, culture, and amazing food.  The pace was very laid back, which fits more my personality.  The African Americans were more kind to me than the uptown Caucasians.  The local whites often asked me when I was leaving Louisiana, when I offered them massages at the Ritz Carlton in the French Quarter.

Sunday, November 4th During morning meditation, I asked my Spirit Guide Somoya what I needed to know for the day.  I then internally heard a voice say, "Ladies will stabilize their men." First thing that came to mind is my relationship with my wife Kels.   She often helps me switch from the emotional to the logical state of thinking by her profound listening.  She offers moral support.  She encourages me to grow.  Kels focuses on my strengths.  My wife empowers me when it feels my internal and external world is imploding at times.  Kels is often my rock when life itself can feel like quick sand.  When the ship appears to be sinking, she always knows what to say to keep my boat a float.  Life is much more happy and manageable, when you have a loving and brilliant lady backing the man.   Over the years, I have seen the same phenomena occur in my own family and with friends. Society exemplifies this statement by Somoya.  My best ...

Saturday, November 3rd I meditated a second time after waking up.  I asked my Spirit Guide Somoya what I needed to know for the day.  I then internally heard a voice say,"We talked for forty minutes." For months I have been thinking of joining a gym to do spin classes, rowing, and swim.  Spin is my main passion.  This workout is what has been luring me to enquire about monthly membership.  The roads have become too dangerous to bike. This morning, I finally made myself a priority.  My wife Kels is in Denver Colorado enjoying a first annual all women's financial independence conference.  My son got his needs met last night, and was fast asleep. I took myself to 24 Hour Fitness literally down the street.  I spent at least 40 minutes speaking with staff about membership, signing up for the year, hearing about spin classes, and getting a tour of the facility.  I feel great having committed myself to caring for my physical well-being once ...

Saturday, November 3rd During morning meditation, I asked Somoya what I needed to know for the day.  I then heard internally a voice say, "I can not afford not to do this.  It just shows your job is more important than my job."  I am not sure who this pertains to.  Possibly my ex-wife, when it comes to meeting my son's emotional needs.  I am the one having to constantly sacrifice potential professional opportunities.  My ex went back to school to become a nurse.  My son as a result is feeling emotionally neglected.  I am feeling the pressure to fill this void, and therefore I do it.  I have been meeting his emotional needs for almost 12 years.  Those who know me well, know I will sacrifice my well-being for another person's well-being.  I learned that from my mother.   Or, possibly this pertains to working with my good friend around making my consulting business grow.  He is more credentialed, married, has two child...

Thursday, November 1st During morning meditation, I asked my Spirit Guide Somoya what I needed to know for today.  I then internally heard a voice say,"We don't need to worry about the presentation, so to speak."  Then I  internally heard a voice say, "Car and raises...I am supposed to care." Recently I have let my supervisors and co-workers know that I hope to soon leave my current position.  My goal is to leave before or by February, 2019.  I am being transparent, in hopes to receive support and also give my team plenty of heads up to prepare and find a suitable replacement.   I have a few potential workplaces in mind.  Some are non-profit and some are private.  My best chance at raises would be with a private company or finding a better job within my current company.  I will be spending the next several weeks, and possibly next couple months, making a sound choice on choosing my next professional clinical position.  My next job ne...