I Can Not Afford Not to Do This...

Saturday, November 3rd

During morning meditation, I asked Somoya what I needed to know for the day.  I then heard internally a voice say, "I can not afford not to do this.  It just shows your job is more important than my job."  I am not sure who this pertains to.  Possibly my ex-wife, when it comes to meeting my son's emotional needs.  I am the one having to constantly sacrifice potential professional opportunities.  My ex went back to school to become a nurse.  My son as a result is feeling emotionally neglected.  I am feeling the pressure to fill this void, and therefore I do it.  I have been meeting his emotional needs for almost 12 years.  Those who know me well, know I will sacrifice my well-being for another person's well-being.  I learned that from my mother.   Or, possibly this pertains to working with my good friend around making my consulting business grow.  He is more credentialed, married, has two children in college, and works forty hours.  We have not ironed out any true ongoing commitment.  I feel we are still feeling out one another around doing business together.

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