Insights not Spite

Wednesday, October 31st During morning meditation, I asked my Spirit Guide Somoya what I needed to know for today.  I then internally heard, "Just Ask Sunny." This week has been extremely challenging at work, when trying to offer appropriate services for one of my clients.  It has gotten to the point where I am working outside of my scope of practice.  I have been really good lately stating my boundaries and staying peer.  Therefore, I redirected social worker questions today to my supervisor Sunny to answer and address.  Today I felt great!  I didn't allow myself to feel pressured to do work that I am not qualified to do.  Thank you so much Somoya for having my back!

Tuesday, October 30th During morning meditation, I asked my Spirit Guide Somoya what I needed to know for today.  I then internally heard, "I don't need to drive the ship.  I just need to own it." I feel this pertains to my consulting business.  I would love to stop having to be in control of everything, in order to make it a successful and profitable business.  I would love to collaborate with more people I trust (like Eric King, for example).   I ideally would love to get to the point where I just show up and present or train with Eric King. I am loyal to Eric.  He has consistently been a good and kind friend.  I have known Eric for almost 10 years.  I am finding someone to make sales and set up my future presentations and trainings.  This is my new goal, after Eric and I get on a roll.

Monday, October 29th During morning meditation, I asked my Spirit Guide Somoya what I needed to know for the day.  I then internally heard, "Here we got a mess." It ended up by the end of my workday, I have a client who's overall situation is a mess, based on how best to offer the person the best services.

Sunday, October 28th During morning meditation, I asked my Spirit Guide Somoya what I needed to know for the day.  I then internally heard, "What's going on Marty?" I am getting myself prepared for the week.  I think this pertains to me getting my needs met.  I need to catch up with blogging (which I just did), and create certificates for OPA clients. This week I will be busy with doing my resume with my friend.  In addition, I will be asking lots of people for letters of recommendation and/or for people to be references.  I am preparing to leave my job before or by February 2019.

Saturday, October 27th During morning meditation, I asked my Spirit Guide Somoya what I needed to know for the day.  I then internally heard, "Hail all students!" I have been wanting to celebrate my OPA clients that I have been teaching on the units. I want to print off certificates for them.  It is thoughtful and everyone appreciates being celebrated, big or small.  People tend to hold onto these sort of things.  I know I do.  Much better than just words of praise to your face or in an email.  I want to move forward by always making certificates for those who demonstrate and share success in groups and when training in the community.

Friday, October 26th During morning meditation, I asked my Spirit Guide Somoya what I needed to know for today.  I then internally heard, "How is your co-worker?" I recently had a co-worker abruptly resign from his position where I work.  He didn't feel heard or supported by management or HR.  He has been on my mind and I have been meaning to text and get together with him.  I am so grateful that Somoya reminded me to check in with my friend.  I immediately texted.  He responded.  We are going to try to get together soon.

Thursday, October 25th During morning meditation, I asked my Spirit Guide Somoya what I needed to know for today.  I then internally heard, "I am making a new friend."  I also heard, "Your at risk of losing everything." I got the feeling if I chose to work at DESC, I might be at risk of losing everything-groups and benefits.  Had feeling it would be nice to work for the County.  I would get paid more.  It would be safer.  I would keep my retirement the same.  Possibly I could work as a Peer Bridger or in another position.  I don't trust my interpretation, due to the fact that it didn't come from my gut, but from my head.  I may just be scared to work for DESC.  I know the people who work there are cool and real overall.  The turnover though is very high.  I just need to look at all my choices and take my time. The new friend I am making is Eric King.  We are starting to build a friendship as we work together on the consulting business.   We have worked

Wednesday, October 24th During morning meditation, I asked my Spirit Guide Somoya what I needed to know for today.  I then internally heard, "I'll be at the hospital right now."  While I job hunt, I need to stay put with my current position.  I know the job well and enjoy it overall.  I am going to spend my free time looking for jobs with King County-good pay and good benefits.  I am also looking at DESC, cause I do believe even if paid less, it would definitely continue to feed my current passion, but be outpatient.  I am networking and using my connections at the County and DESC and open to other agencies, profit or non-profit.

Tuesday, October 23rd During morning meditation, I asked my Spirit Guide Somoya what I needed to know for today.  I then internally heard, "Graduated from high school.  Just turned 18." This was the high and low point of my young adult life.  I graduated from high school the summer of 1990.  This was a huge success for me and I was relieved!  I have always struggled with academics, due to living with ADD.  I pushed myself so hard to not just get through school, but to also get perfect grades.  I wanted my father's approval, but is was so difficult to get.  My nature is to please.  I graduated with a 3.9 cum.  I received an F for not turning in one English paper senior year. This was the most I ever "acted out" as a teenager.  I purposely did not complete the paper, just to spite my father.  I was burnt out from school and had fully turned my attention to competitive cycling in hopes of escaping overwhelming academic stress and family life drama. Cycling wa

Monday, October 22nd During morning meditation, I asked my Spirit Guide Somoya what I needed to know for today.  I then didn't hear anything, but received visuals:  spoon, fork, and tongs. The night before, and this past Saturday, my wife and I had gotten in a couple of arguments.  My feelings were hurt.  She stated she didn't understand how and why.   She stated she didn't know how to avoid the arguments or resolve them.  She stated she hates to to have conversation during an argument.  This I didn't understand.  I stated before falling asleep that I have the answers to how best to communicate with me during an argument and how to move on, if she is willing to try.  I stated I know what I need in order to feel better and move on from a misunderstanding or disagreement.  My wife stated she was open to trying, and then we both fell asleep.  We were emotionally exhausted from our inability to communicate effectively, which resulted in hurt feelings for the both of us.

Sunday, October 21st During morning meditation, I asked my Spirit Guide Somoya what I needed to know for today.  I then internally heard, "You will miss me a lot."  I felt the feeling was tied both into my current workplace and to my son. Last Thursday I announced to my supervisor that I am actively looking for a new job.  She is in support of my decision, based on the recent trauma I have undergone.  She is willing to assist with my resume and willing to be a reference.  I need to move on.  I am often being triggered by my clients when there is conversation around suicide or the client having a plan.  I have lost two of my siblings to suicide over the past 11 years.  I have lost two of my clients to suicide in less than a year.  I haven't had time to process it all or heal fully, without having to worry about current clients.  I am not sure what my next job will be, but I want to remain of service to the community.  I have been at my current workplace for almost ten

Saturday, October 20th During morning meditation, I asked my Spirit Guide Somoya what I needed to know for the day.  I then internally heard, "Ulises".   Ulises is a man that was in my son's life for four years, after my first marriage ended.  He was introduced to my son's life through his birth mom.  My son grew a strong attachment during this period of time.  They all lived together.  When the relationship came to an end, Ulises was forced out of my son's life without any closure. This naturally had a negative impact on my son's emotions.   As my son's father, I pushed aside my feelings, and have encouraged and have fostered an ongoing relationship between my son and Ulises.  This has made both of them extremely happy!  We all only get together every so often.  Since it has been awhile, I feel Somoya is encouraging me to connect them once again.  My son now has his own cell plan.  It would be good for him to be able to text and call Ulises wh

Wednesday, October 17 During morning meditation, I asked Somoya what I needed to know for the day.  I then internally heard, "I can believe...for him."  My job requires me offering emotional support and believing in individuals, when they are struggling to do it for themselves.   At the same time, I had the thought I can also do this for myself and need to! I put so much energy into assisting others with their recovery on a daily basis.  I can redirect some of that energy into believing in myself.  I need to believe in my abilities in order to move on with my career.  

Tuesday, October 16th During morning meditation, I asked my Spirit Guide what I needed to know for the day.  I then internally heard, "Call them out in public."  I feel this could relate to work, family, and or anyone out in the community.  I feel Somoya is trying to tell me this is the best way to get someone to change or at least examine their behavior.  Last night I took this approach at a PTSA meeting.  I had sent an email a week ago to the PTSA president offering a free training to assist middle school children, staff, and parents on how to manage stress, empower ones self, and get ones needs met effectively.  The president of the PTSA never took the time to respond to my email either way.  I then chose to go to this meeting partially in order to call out the person in public on why I received no response.  The person was left with making excuses, but eventually apologized for their lack of action.  It then gave me an opportunity to network further.  This lead to

Monday, October 15th During morning meditation, I asked my Spirit Guide Somoya what I needed to know for the day.  I then internally heard, "What do I need to do to rise above others?  OPA." I feel Somoya's message is two folded:  Dealing with those around me and my future career.  They go hand and hand. I developed OPA For Mental Health, LLC back in 2009.  It is a form of CBT (Cognitive Behavioral Therapy).  The primary purpose of the four-step process is to assist an individual with switching from the emotional state to the logical state of thinking, when feeling overwhelmed with a stressor, multiple stressors, daily structure, and/or achieving a goal.  In addition, OPA For Mental Health diplomatically getting ones needs met successfully with providers, professional staff, or anyone who can actively listen, be supportive, and be willing to collaborate. When dealing with personalities at work and in the community,  OPA For Mental Health, keeps me self-regulated,

Saturday, October 13th During morning meditation, I asked my Spirit Guide Somoya what I needed to know for today.  I then heard, "We need to care for our water."  It was then followed by a visual.  I saw a hand operated hater pump in the desert. I am good at conserving water for the most part, but I can definitely improve when it comes to daily showers.  I take 5 minute showers on week days, but 15 minute showers on the weekends sometimes alone.  My justification has always been that water is included in our rent.  Lame reason...I know.  I am now going to do my part to conserve, by being less selfish and changing my behavior.

Sunday, October 14th This morning during meditation, I asked my Spirit Guide Somoya what I needed to know for the day. I then internally heard, "I am the worst, driving emotionally." The funny thing is, I couldn't agree more with her statement.  Normally, I am defensive if someone criticizes or critiques my weaknesses, but not this time.  I had to laugh out loud.  Somoya knows me well. What is funnier, is I forgot all about this morning's information, before going on an afternoon drive with my wife.  Within the first six blocks, I encountered several horrendous drivers.  I lit up with each encounter, by vocalizing my frustration, while my wife remained calm and quiet.  Suddenly, Somoya's words came to the forefront of my mind.  I then shared her words with Kelli.  Let's just say Kelli didn't disagree with Somoya's statement.  Kelli actively listened and asked me questions. Driving and being reactive has been an ongoing problem for me since youn

Friday, October 12th During morning meditation, I asked my Spirit Guide what I needed to know for the day.  I then heard internally, "Marty did it!"  The sad thing was I at first tried to dismiss it. Last evening my wife, son, and I watched a phenomenal documentary called "Running For Good".  We were all flabbergasted about an extraordinary woman named Fiona Oakes.  She is from the UK.  Her mental strength and physical ability to run for a cause appears to be inhumanly possible.  Her right leg has no knee cap! Fiona lost it due to an illness when she was seventeen.  She has won countless races, has four genius world records, and is the fastest woman on all seven continents!  Her sole purpose and drive is to develop a platform for veganism-protecting all animals.  Naturally, she and her husband Martin have an animal sanctuary.   After watching a documentary about such an amazing person, my own life accomplishments felt minuscule.  This has been a lifetime

Thursday, October 11th During morning meditation, I asked my Spirit Guide Somoya what I needed to know for the day.  I then internally heard, "It says it's right here in these teeth...Jaws." I personally find shark teeth scary/frightening.  Some things in life are literally as dangerous as they look.  For instance, the teeth of the great white shark.  The fictional movie Jaws horrified me as a very young child.  To this day I am still afraid to swim in the ocean. Once I moved past the ingrained childhood fear, a Google search was in order.  The teeth identify sharks as prehistoric fish.  Sharks have been around way before humans, around 400 million years!  Sharks loose around 35,000 teeth in their lifetime.  These razor sharp teeth help them remain at the top of the food chain.  Without sharks being present in our oceans, our seas will eventually collapse!  Algae would over bloom, and all water life would suffer.  When sharks die, their teeth sink to the ocean botto

Wednesday, October 10th During morning meditation, I asked my Spirit Guide Somoya what I needed to know for the day.  I then internally heard, "Riding right above the sweet spot." I looked up "sweet spot" in Google.  It was defined as the optimum point or combination of factors or qualities." I feel my Spirit Guide Somoya is communicating that I continue to work too hard and not smart in my current profession in social services.  I have been a Peer Specialist for over 9 years.  5 of those years I have been a Peer Bridger, carrying a small caseload.  I still fall into the trap at times pleasing supervisors, management, co-workers, and clients.  This leads to more energy spent than necessary to perform my job effectively.  I go out of my way too often.   As a result, my time management boundaries are poor.   Giving too much and having poor boundaries leads to feeling depleted emotionally and leaving work late most days.  I want to continue to work at not ca

Monday, October 8th During morning meditation, I asked my Spirit Guide Somoya what I needed to know for today.  I then internally heard, "Follow your work's life work and enjoy."   When I arrived at work this morning, one of my co-workers stated she was asked by our supervisor to do another task outside of our wheel house.  I just recently was coursed to do the same two months ago.  This immediately made me mad.  I had a strong feeling of wanting to quit.  Pressure and manipulation has been going on for a long time.  I made note to myself to get my resume updated ASAP.   I sensed my co-worker was trying to provoke me.  She has done this once before.  I can be very reactive.  I am the only one on the team that fights to set limits and boundaries with supervisors and upper management.  I try to protect myself and the team from being overworked without financial compensation.   Over the 9 years I have found my supervisor often trying to get my peers and I to

During morning meditation, I asked Somoya what I needed to know for the day.  I then internally heard two messages.  The first message was "Tibia."  The second message I heard, "I already feel loved by those who love me and know me." The first message ended up being a synchronistic moment during the day.  My wife Kels, son Mason, and I went to our friends Steve's home to watch the Packers play the Bills.  During the game, Steve asked Kels if she had heard about the scandal, involving Seahawk player Earl Thomas, who broke his tibia.  She stated she had.  Kels had filled me in about the sandal earlier in the week.  His injury had a occurred during last week's game.  It is the second time he has broken his tibia since 2016.  In addition, he didn't get an extension on his four-year, 40 million dollar contract, before the break.  Now he will most likely be a free agent at the end of the 2018 season. The second message came from a place of security and con

Saturday, October 6th During morning meditation, I asked my Spirit Guide Somoya what I needed to know for today.  I then internally heard, "Becoming independent did not feel good to me at all." Growing up, both of my parents tried to hold on to me as long as possible.  I was the last of seven children.  If they were to let go of me, that only meant they were left to deal and live with one another.  I felt used by both as a distraction.  I didn't feel empowered or encouraged to live and be successful and happy on my own.  I felt it was my primary job to make both of them happy.  When I look back, I was taught to be co-dependent, rather than independent.  I received this subtle message by observing my older siblings behavior.  If I was well behaved, received good grades, and stayed out of trouble, I could stay as long as I wanted, rent free, if continuing off to college.  My big problem was living with learning challenges.  (I live with ADD. ) Therefore, higher educatio

Friday October 5th, During morning meditation, I asked my Spirit Guide Somoya what I needed to know for the day.  I then internally heard, "Why does the fire fighter's dog have spots?"  Naturally I Googled, cause I had no idea and I was curious. After a search in Google, I learned some interesting information about these spotted creatures called Dalmatians: >The spots come from genetics (piebald gene) and selective breeding-just a preference >Originate from the Republic of Croatia >Breed developed chiefly in England in 1862 >Known to be loyal, protective, and intelligent >Mascot and used in fire houses over a 100 years ago-best known >Due to intelligence and spots, made them successful circus animals over the years >Very compatible with horses, before motorized vehicles >Clear a path for the horses and the fire fighter drawn carriage by parking >Guided fire fighting apparatus and horses to fire >Would run along side horses to p

Thursday, October 4th This morning during meditation, I asked my Spirit Guide Somoya what I needed to know for today.  I then internally heard, "I have some privileges after nine years."  This would naturally be referring to my current employment.  I have been at the County hospital for over nine years.  Over the years I have proven myself as being independent, hard working, dependable, reliable, trustworthy, honest, a strong advocate for the population we serve and modeling leadership qualities.  As a result, I have shifted from the need for micro-management to macro-management.  I only have to check in with my direct supervisor once every two weeks for 30 minutes.  The primary purpose is to check in and update on my client load.  I only have to go to a one hour team meeting once a week.  I only have to work 32 hours per week, and I have Fridays off.  I am granted full benefits, in spite of working less hours.  I am allowed to take lunch when I want.  I am allowed to flex

Wednesday, October 3rd Today during my afternoon bi-weekly supervision, I thanked my supervisor for the kind words that ended up in my work mailbox in the mailroom.  She stated that she didn't spefically write it, but a new committee generated it to celebrate each other as staff. I shared with my supervisor that I was meditating the other day.  I stated that I heard to celebrate my co-worker Pat for his amazing efforts managing the recycling program at our hospital.  She looked very surprised.  She then smiled and said, "You are very intuitive!  I was just thinking of celebrating him somehow.  I sometimes bring him and his crew donuts."  I said, "I was thinking it would be really nice to celebrate him with a hand written thank you card.  We as peers could all say some kind words about how we appreciate him, rather than just sign it."  My supervisor said she really liked the idea.  I look forward to seeing the card manifest for Pat.

Wednesday, October 3rd This morning during meditation, I asked my Spirit Guide Somoya what I needed to know for today.  I heard internally, "Never stop asking questions." Yesterday, I had a housing case manager go off on me, because I was advocating for a client of his, by asking several questions.  The clt I am assisting is currently feeling over overwhelmed by the noise caused by a neighbor living above him. Long story short, it was by me asking several questions that brought about some further actions steps and empowered the client in the process.  As a result, the clt felt supported and was able to calm down.  The clt thanked me for "locking horns" (as he put it) with the case manager and having his back. The fact that the housing case manager lost his cool said a lot about him and his current work situation. I was made fun of all throughout school for asking too many questions.  Asking questions helps me learn better, problem solve, and improve myself

Tuesday, October 2nd This morning during meditation my Spirit Guide had mention to nominate one of my co-workers, Pat, for his hard work and dedication to our team.  When I was at work I checked my mailbox and received a very unexpected surprise!  Someone had taken the time to write a thoughtful note recognizing my dedication and contributions to my workplace and the population we serve.  I was shocked to have received this on the same day my Spirit Guide Somoya had spoken about recognizing my co-worker Pat.  It makes me feel really good to be appreciated and recognized.  This experience makes me really want to follow through with nominating and writing something nice for Pat.  It will feel great to give kind words back to my team members.

Tuesday, October 2nd I unfortunately overslept Monday morning, so I was unable to find time to meditate and connect with my Spirit Guide Somoya. This morning, during meditation, I asked Somoya what I needed to know for today.  I internally heard, "I would like to nominate Pat."  I believe it refers to my co-worker Pat.  He manages the recycling program at the hospital.  He really does an amazing job with his crew.  They are professional, polite, and consistent with pick cup of cardboard and recycles.  Recently, we as a team, we were just talking about celebrating ourselves as Peer Specialists.  Patrick has been managing the crew for many close to 10 years.  My plan is to nominate Pat at the next team meeting. I think it would be awesome if each of us as peers wrote in a card, in a few words, why we appreciate him.  My wife Kels has always said handwritten thank you's are most meaningful.