Insights not Spite

Today was a challenging day, but more so after work.  I work with individuals who live with mental illness and/or addictions.  I do my best each day to center myself before work.  I try to be an open compassionate vessel of support, and provide knowledge to guide others through there day to day recovery.  Most days, I do well at this.  I am able to actively listen, while showing compassion.  I do best not to force my agenda.  I patiently wait for others to want my assistance.  I connect people to resources.  I am extra eyes and ears for others, when they are too scared or anxious to take information in for themselves when meeting with providers and other professional staff.  I advocate for their needs and wants, when they don't feel heard or are unable to use their voice, due to acute symptoms.  I often work with people who are not grateful for my efforts, or the efforts of other professional behavioral staff.  Such lack of gra...

7/10/18:  During my evening meditation I heard, "Children are always important."  My wife and I meditated after watching a TV series about a famous woman, who is a book writer, going through divorce. I have a child from a previous marriage.  My wife Kels and I always make him top priority and the focus, when we have him every other week.  We give him the space he needs and wants, when he is not with us.  We let him reach out to us, if he needs or wants to.

7/9/18:   During my evening meditation, I heard, "Stop being a bitch."  I had asked my Spirit Guide what I needed to know for tomorrow at work.  I am aware that sometimes I complain about those I work with, but most times I allow people to push me around. Tomorrow I have a nurse who has requested to follow me on an outreach with a patient.  She needs to get hours in for her school program.  She seems friendly, but she has been pushy for the past couple of weeks to get the hours in.  I don't need to bend over backwards to get her practicum hours in.  She needs to work around my schedule, and I need to feel comfortable with this.  I plan to be polite, yet strong about how I move throughout the day tomorrow. If I am irritated with others that I work with, I plan to keep my feelings to myself.  I once had a director state, "If you have nothing nice to stay...say nothing at all."  This is an old phrase my parents use to state when raising...

7/8/18:  During meditation I heard, "The kid doesn't have as much on his plate, as the kid thinks."  I believe this pertains to our son Mason.  He easily gets overwhelmed with learning and homework, but he currently only does homework and learning every other week.  This has been going on ever since kindergarten.  Kelli and I choose to teach and work on opening his mind to learning.  This coming fall, he will be in middle school.  He will be required to do homework in both homes one hour per night.  It won't be any way near as much as the children who are in general education classes.

7/7/18:  During meditation I head, "I hate when Grandpa's die."  It was in Kel's voice.  Lately I have been more concerned about my dad dying.   I believe it will happen soon.  I believe he will let go, cause my mom is gone.  He loved her a lot.  He was dependent on her.

7/6/18:  During meditation I heard, "How will that help with your recovery?"  I am trying to be open and engaging with my brother Pat via text.  I suggested getting tickets to see a comedy (Steve Martin and Martin Short), but it was too expensive for me to pick up all four tickets.  I felt bad suggesting the idea, and then not being to follow through.  I am scared to disappoint and/or anger my brother.  We have a history of pissing each other off.  My intention was good.  We can be very similar, yet extremely different at the same time.  Maybe having peace and some distance is going to be enough.  Time will tell in how we continue to exchange via texts and engage in the community. Another change is I have been having a few drinks with friends lately on the weekends, which is new for me.  It is nice to socialize this way, but not necessary.  I did some research online and found it is best for me to go back to abstaining comple...

7/6/18:  During meditation I heard, "Suspect horseback riding."  When I Googled, it had U-Tube videos of suspects being caught who were on horseback.