I can’t trust Her
Sunday, May 19th
During morning meditation, I asked my Spirit Guide Somoya what I needed to know for today. I then heard an internal voice say, “I can’t trust her.”
As I mentioned in my previous entry, I was t-boned by my ex. She is not consistent with her behavior in public and uses emails and texts to be aggressive and bully. She is too scared to bully me face to face.
I forgive too easily and hope she will behave differently over time. I then let down my guard, which leads to me getting emotionally upset and hurt all over again. The only way I can protect myself from her emotional and financial abuse, is to minimize engagement, know my basic universal human rights, and respond when necessary, set the tone, be in charge, be void of emotion in my response, and do limit setting.
I am a victim of many years of emotional and financial abuse from my ex. It is embarrassing and I am ashamed to admit this. I am a male and my abuser is a female. I don’t feel safe and her behavior causes me a great deal of mental anguish, which I do not deserve.
I now am able to empathize with all those who are victims of physical, emotional, and/or financial abuse. I, like others, wish and hope and believe the abuser will eventually change their behavior for the better and treat us well. As a result, we keep forgiving and are willing to engage and keep the hope alive. This faulty belief system is detrimental to the well being of the survivors of abuse. Often times we don’t survive, cause the abuse is too much.
I am choosing my well being over believing in a false hope. As Somoya said, “I can’t trust her.” Therefore, I will NEVER let my guard down again. I will ALWAYS arm myself with TRUTH, HONESTY, and FACTS. I am prepared to go to battle, when needed. I am fearless of my abuser. My bully is powerless. This is reality.
During morning meditation, I asked my Spirit Guide Somoya what I needed to know for today. I then heard an internal voice say, “I can’t trust her.”
As I mentioned in my previous entry, I was t-boned by my ex. She is not consistent with her behavior in public and uses emails and texts to be aggressive and bully. She is too scared to bully me face to face.
I forgive too easily and hope she will behave differently over time. I then let down my guard, which leads to me getting emotionally upset and hurt all over again. The only way I can protect myself from her emotional and financial abuse, is to minimize engagement, know my basic universal human rights, and respond when necessary, set the tone, be in charge, be void of emotion in my response, and do limit setting.
I am a victim of many years of emotional and financial abuse from my ex. It is embarrassing and I am ashamed to admit this. I am a male and my abuser is a female. I don’t feel safe and her behavior causes me a great deal of mental anguish, which I do not deserve.
I now am able to empathize with all those who are victims of physical, emotional, and/or financial abuse. I, like others, wish and hope and believe the abuser will eventually change their behavior for the better and treat us well. As a result, we keep forgiving and are willing to engage and keep the hope alive. This faulty belief system is detrimental to the well being of the survivors of abuse. Often times we don’t survive, cause the abuse is too much.
I am choosing my well being over believing in a false hope. As Somoya said, “I can’t trust her.” Therefore, I will NEVER let my guard down again. I will ALWAYS arm myself with TRUTH, HONESTY, and FACTS. I am prepared to go to battle, when needed. I am fearless of my abuser. My bully is powerless. This is reality.
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