I Apologized for the Behavior I Did
Tuesday, January 8th
During morning meditation, I asked my Spirit Guide Somoya what I needed to know for today. I then heard an internal voice say, "I apologized for the behavior I did."
My three days of insomnia caused me to become very emotional and easily argumentative in the days to follow. I ended up getting into two verbal disagreements with my wife Kelli this past weekend. It was mentally exhausting and frustrating for both of us. When I become this way, it is extremely difficult for me to stop engaging and let the topic go. My wife was brilliant. She suddenly, yet peacefully, approached me. Kelli offered a long loving hug. I gladly accepted and desperately needed it! I was just too embarrassed to ask for my need to be met, due to childhood trauma. I assumed my wife would see me as weak, by requesting such touch. This is not her natural response (offering touch), but she knew I needed it to calm me down.
My son Mason witnessed this disagreement. He then took notice of my wife and I engaging in a long and silent hug. He checked in and asked if we were OK. I then apologized to both of them. They both accepted my apology. I honestly shared what I feel and experience inside and what I need, when I am lacking good sleep. They both stated they understood and appreciate heads up. Then my son asked, "Do you need a hug from me?" I was caught off guard. His sweetness and sincerity made me smile and laugh easily. I said, "Of course!"
I am proud of myself for having the courage to share my feelings and make my requests, especially when I am vulnerable. I am very thankful for Somoya sending me this message today. Although I know others forgive me, per history, I don't forgive myself. I sense that Somoya wants me now to forgive myself and move on from this incident and others. I have informed my loved ones of my needs and I have owned my behavior. I am forgiving myself.
During morning meditation, I asked my Spirit Guide Somoya what I needed to know for today. I then heard an internal voice say, "I apologized for the behavior I did."
My three days of insomnia caused me to become very emotional and easily argumentative in the days to follow. I ended up getting into two verbal disagreements with my wife Kelli this past weekend. It was mentally exhausting and frustrating for both of us. When I become this way, it is extremely difficult for me to stop engaging and let the topic go. My wife was brilliant. She suddenly, yet peacefully, approached me. Kelli offered a long loving hug. I gladly accepted and desperately needed it! I was just too embarrassed to ask for my need to be met, due to childhood trauma. I assumed my wife would see me as weak, by requesting such touch. This is not her natural response (offering touch), but she knew I needed it to calm me down.
My son Mason witnessed this disagreement. He then took notice of my wife and I engaging in a long and silent hug. He checked in and asked if we were OK. I then apologized to both of them. They both accepted my apology. I honestly shared what I feel and experience inside and what I need, when I am lacking good sleep. They both stated they understood and appreciate heads up. Then my son asked, "Do you need a hug from me?" I was caught off guard. His sweetness and sincerity made me smile and laugh easily. I said, "Of course!"
I am proud of myself for having the courage to share my feelings and make my requests, especially when I am vulnerable. I am very thankful for Somoya sending me this message today. Although I know others forgive me, per history, I don't forgive myself. I sense that Somoya wants me now to forgive myself and move on from this incident and others. I have informed my loved ones of my needs and I have owned my behavior. I am forgiving myself.
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